Login   Sign Up 



 
Archive » Carlton » Work
Archive »  Poetry » General » Work

Ballet

by Carlton 

Posted: 25 November 2004
Word Count: 48
Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


How must it be
to know with such certainty
yet holding back with some uncertain mind.
Withdrawing, you start away uneasy,
unsure as yet which way to turn.

A short pause, followed by a slight pas de bourrée,
you sidestep your emotion
leaving me
to contemplate my own.






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



roovacrag at 21:14 on 25 November 2004  Report this post
Carlton..as a ballet dancer years ago I know what your trying to say.

Last three lines of the first stanza said it all.
Then You continue with a pirouette to finish in a finale.

Well done.

xxxx Alice
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

Tuppence at 01:26 on 26 November 2004  Report this post
spinning around in a space of my own
no one can touch me
however i moan
just leave me to it
my dog with a bone
i'll pick the shit up
and groan
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

Account Closed at 11:39 on 26 November 2004  Report this post
I actually think this poem starts with your current second stanza which is hugely exciting and says it all perfectly - I hate to be emotional but it makes my feet shiver (always a good sign!!). I would be minded to remove the 1st stanza and use it in another, more expansive piece.

Sorry to be so off-the-wall, and you can always ignore me!!!

LoL

A
xxx

PS Oh, and I'd put a semi colon after "bourree". And maybe it should be:

A short pause
followed by a slight pas de bourrée;
you sidestep your emotion
leaving me
to contemplate my own.

PPS No more PSs, I promise!!!!
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

Carlton at 20:06 on 26 November 2004  Report this post
Thanks Alice, glad you liked it. Don't know much about ballet, but it fitted the theme of the poem.
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

Carlton at 20:07 on 26 November 2004  Report this post
Glad to see you're still out there Tuppence.
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

Carlton at 20:10 on 26 November 2004  Report this post
An interesting thought Anne, the first and second stanzas were written several weeks apart, but just seemed to fit at the time. Perhaps I'll keep them both in my back pocket for future use.


Thanks for the feedback, everyone
Carlton
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .

 






Other work by Carlton:      ...view all work by Carlton