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Dead Dads Walking

by AnnMarie Eldon 

Posted: 24 November 2004
Word Count: 342

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Dead Dads Walking

The original Baricco is God knows where
in some State, boxed;squashed against
mildew-spotted flotsam n jetsam. Here a

new old one has its frontispiece half title ill
ustration torn/gone. But for 25p? Holds
value as symbol once for eyes' fusion
along silk roads.

This is usual: stuff cram-packed such as
snot cracked in crumpled man handkerchiefs
desiccated heaps on the stairs. Old fivers
hidden under snooker-baize green utility

carpet. Thread bare. Glass so old it'd
resorted to a barely perceptible fluid~
self thicker at pane base and further
squeezed atomically thinner by freeze

and me-an'-my-sister breeeathing
hoar into a room incapable of more
warmth. Life done in weeks and little
pencilled lists giving us their bottom

Drawing blood from stones. Neighbours
donating dogs' bones. Fridays always on
loan til them readies came.

Don't tell me this entices steps to be taken.
It all hasta get put away some place.
Everything is a stopper threatening
to shphut malcontents onto an 'I've just

cleaned I've just cleaned that! Floor!'
mother shouting her anthem. That's
what Daddy delivered for.
A clean house.

What we were supposed to hush to,
support, make tea on be-
half of, cower.
And where's his ghost now?

Showin' up in my American lover,
all civility and how I'm sposed to be
and anything psychological is

and what generation X is about
and what his generation just
missed and how he's not gonna be no
decreasing economic asset are you?

A very-very clean carpet
and an attention-neurosis worth its weight
in a godzillion dog hairs.
Perfect mastery of gravy probably.

I look back over years of dinners.
I see there was no sex education.
Even later when I learnt how pipes
and osmosis and plateau-zzz worked.

No red on a tampon box and parts
missing in the diagrams like a
Maid-in-Taiwan cheapy.

Where oh where am I?
Serving you up a perfectly
cooked ego.
You forbid scrambled. OK.

Daddy's ghost stalks my halls.
You set about completing your life
without me.

Two of you walk

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Comments by other Members

roovacrag at 15:41 on 27 November 2004  Report this post
AnneMarie forgive me for not seeing this earlier.
Surprised no one commented on it as it is a terrific piece of work.
Every stanza flowed well into the rest to give a sharp image.

Words flowed so that it met with a readers interest. This way they continue to read as I did.

Well done.
Sorry it is late coming.

xx Alice


Welcome to WW.

blp at 14:51 on 20 September 2005  Report this post
I'm dead impressed by this. The only bit I don't like is the extension of the word 'breathing', which I think is corny, a cheap effect.

Brian Aird at 20:48 on 20 September 2005  Report this post
Last two thirds of it made me think about being a dad who lost his dad a few years back and had to think hard where he stopped and I began. And my boys leaving the house create an empty nest and I wonder if they wonder where they begin and I end.


Cymro at 12:59 on 10 January 2006  Report this post
Just came across this thanks to the Random Read, and really glad I did. This is an amazing, very accomplished piece. Wanted to read it over and over. Absolutely brilliant.

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