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Lipstick Wish

by Carlton 

Posted: 19 November 2004
Word Count: 175


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Like some latter day Cyrano
these words are all I have
to flatter and romance you
distract you to my love.

Iíll not compare you to a summerís day
nor cloud like lonely wander
but lean on my own reasoning
and let these stanzas make you ponder.

Poetic words are nothing more
than symbols in a string,
but joined by such enlivenment
and pleasures that you bring
to me your soft visage
your radiance, your being,
enthral my waking hours
light up my every dream.

So hard then to be here
when youíre continents away
with just your voice to listen to
at the end of every day.

These beauteous visions in my mind
have helped me find a way
to wind up on your doorstep
to be near you, with you, stay.

I count the days before I leave
to travel on my way, so

Come to me Iíll come to you
together let us stay
until your sweet lipped mouth,
your neck, your face, your whole array, Iíve

Kissed all night and day.






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Comments by other Members



roovacrag at 14:32 on 19 November 2004  Report this post
Carlton a beautiful way to spell lipstick.
So romantic. Every stanza was thoughtfully worded and flowed perfectly off the tongue.

Well done.

xx Alice

Carlton at 15:22 on 19 November 2004  Report this post
Thanks Alice. Beleive it or not, I didn't realise Lipstick was in there until I got to the T.

Account Closed at 15:36 on 19 November 2004  Report this post
Love this - it's very romantic and strong. Nice one with the lipstick being in it too! And the rhyming gives it a good flow, taking the reader along.

I wonder if you should separate the stanza beginning with the "S" from the next one beginning with the "T", and then separate the "T" one from the "I" one. And then maybe separate "together let us stay" from the next line, "until your sweet lipped mouth". I don't know - it might give extra emphasis to the poem's cleverness?

LoL

A
xxx

Carlton at 17:06 on 19 November 2004  Report this post
Interesting. Originally, each lipstick line was the beginning of a separate stanza, but then I thought to bring 'stick' together to bind it. Maybe the penultimate pair of lines would go better with the last.

Carlton at 17:07 on 19 November 2004  Report this post
Oh yes, Thanks HollyB
:-)

The Walrus at 18:38 on 19 November 2004  Report this post
Wonderful. So full of passion and yearning. I hope the subject sees this and the others you have written about her!

The Walrus

Account Closed at 22:31 on 19 November 2004  Report this post
Dear Carlton - ooh, I like this new version - much better than my idea!!

:))

LoL

A
xxx


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