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I Asked You A Question ?(re-shaped/re-versed).

by laurafraser 

Posted: 14 November 2004
Word Count: 689
Summary: Thought it needed a bit of snipping.


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Version One:

So that’s the theme you choose to take.
could you not have chosen-no, I suppose.
No. I mean you could not have chosen.

Silly isn't it, aren’t they?
These words we read, write and speak with
where are we with them; where are we without them? (Do I sound tired)?
I have a question that I would like to ask: do you really want the belly to stop rumbling? Knowing that if yours must be thin, others must grow bloated,
air running down a sagging intestine,
cruelly pretending to be something else, that you have, I have, we all have.
Bollocks that is not true,
never ever, (ever)? since the days of the gods,
(oh them again).
So, just accept then? Nothing to amend then?
(But I have such a good heart).
The sage nods his head to and fro, incredibly slow
like the hyena laughing or crying, we'll probably soon know.

All this desire to know to understand and say this is the way that things are
Why? What? When?

But I like to sleep late.
wake at one, eat breakfast at 7o'clock and lunch after that.
But ‘they’ all shook their heads,
left and right and then just sneered and jeered,
jabbed with their fingers and pointed to the clock,
with roman numerals.
Ahh. Civilization. Clockwise we must go.
Two is after three, but way before the other 1 – the a.m
The Anno Domini. (The A.D.D).

But I pine after the robes and the purple wine,
the jewels and the magpie’s nest.
Super reges et regna, these are the things I will do.
(these are the words of the ghosts).

Power will spread like oil in the sea,
and you shall be my swan
- but, Leda is no more,
though wings can still break bones, look come with me,
there's a river reflection I can see, with ripples and a face that just looks.
- are you that man?
Bent over and so vain? Or will you come with me, and scream obscenities,
of things we do not know?

But I hear those little feet pattering,
around your bruised valentine heart,
and so take a single seat, the ticket man is coming
for the invisible journey that your mind was too scared to take.

Version Two:

Silly isn't it, aren’t they?
These words we read, write and speak with
where are we with them; where are we without them?
(Do I sound tired)?

Did you know that never ever, (ever)? since the days of the gods,
(oh them again).
there has been nothing to accept. Nothing to amend then?
(But I have such a good heart).
The sage nods his head to and fro, incredibly slow
like the hyena laughing or crying - we'll probably soon know.

All this desire to know to understand and say
this is the way that things are
Why? What? When?

But I like to sleep late.
wake at one, eat breakfast at 7o'clock and lunch after that.
But ‘they’ all shook their heads,
left and right and then just sneered and jeered,
jabbed with their fingers and pointed to the clock,
with roman numerals.
Ahh. Civilization. Clockwise we must go.
Two is after three, but way before the other 1 – the a.m
The Anno Domini. (The A.D.D).

But I pine after the robes and the purple wine,
the jewels and the magpie’s nest.
Super reges et regna, these are the things I will do.
(these are the words of the ghosts).

Power will spread like oil in the sea,
and you shall be my swan
- but, Leda is no more,
though wings can still break bones, look come with me,
there's a river reflection I can see, with ripples and a face that just looks.
- are you that man?
Bent over and so vain? Or will you come with me, and scream obscenities,
of things we do not know?

But I hear those little feet pattering,
around your bruised valentine heart,
and so take a single seat, the ticket man is coming
for the invisible journey that your mind was too scared to take.






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Comments by other Members



The Walrus at 19:40 on 16 November 2004  Report this post
Laura, this is an interesting piece of work(s). I am enchanted, as ever, with your trademark magic. It feels so real. I haven't done an in-depth comparison of both versions, but I think I probably like the latter, it just seems tighter and therefore more crystallised/intense.

Enjoyed very much and look forward to more.

The Walrus

laurafraser at 20:06 on 16 November 2004  Report this post
walrus, thank-you very much for your very flattering and kind comments and i like that "trademark magic"-thank-you! i agree second bit better-bit of a sagging belly before-the lipo did it good!
thank-you for reading walrus
xlaura


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