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Remember Me

by baldur 

Posted: 12 November 2004
Word Count: 68


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Remember me once a year
remember my death but not my fear
think of all I gave but not how I gave it
but remember my sacrifice.

Remember the bombs and the hate.
Remember as I marched to my fate.
think how you love life
but remember my sacrifice.

Once a year remember me
But remember
Itís because of me that once a year
You CAN remember me.






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Comments by other Members



poemsgalore at 18:11 on 12 November 2004  Report this post
When I saw the title, I immediately thought of Christina Rossetti, she wrote a wonderful poem with this very title. Yours is a very poignant reminder that it is only once a year we are asked to remember, the families involved have to remember every day, they have no choice.

roovacrag at 21:42 on 12 November 2004  Report this post
I liked this,yes I do remember.
For on this he was born.
A Savior.
A man.
A person who gave his all.
Then was crucified,by the people.

good poem.

xxAlice

lieslj at 04:41 on 13 November 2004  Report this post
Hi baldur. This poem is a salient reminder for us to remember those who have served and sacrificed in wars everywhere. And continue to do so.

Unlike roovacrag, I don't see this as a specifically religious reflection, but simply a call to those of us of all faith, or of none, who still breathe air to contemplate the loss of life we have witnessed across the generations. If there were more obvious symbols and metaphors I would understand the reading of this from the Christian perspective.

In terms of the structure of the poem, I wonder if the rhyming doesn't create a slight sing-song feel that undermines the gravity of the work's intention. I think the seduction of rhyme has to be evaluated quite carefully and if one asks the question of whether it serves the poem optimally, that should be one's guide. For my taste, if you were to strive to explore and represent these sentiments without the rhyme, you might have a more potent expression.

Ticonderoga at 09:16 on 13 November 2004  Report this post
Simple, sincere and endlessly resonant. Splendid.

Best,

Mike

engldolph at 18:52 on 28 November 2004  Report this post
Baldur,

Yes, an idea well captured and told.
Should be on a monument somewhere.

my only suggestion, take out all instances of the word "but"
In my mind, it would sharpen the words even more.

Mike

Mr B. at 08:00 on 16 February 2005  Report this post
This seems to highlight the problem of Remembrance Day. The people aren't forgotten, but the reason we remember is increasingly dilluted. On second reading I replaced 'I' for 'We' - not a change I would recommend but I was interested in how it subtly altered the piece.

Cheers,

Anthony

paul53 [for I am he] at 16:19 on 26 February 2005  Report this post
When I was a kid, even the cars driving by would pull over and stop. How swiftly we forget.



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