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Indomitable
Posted: 04 November 2004
Word Count: 75
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My sword rests still
beneath my pillow,
in readiness for those
who wait to ambush.
And for every strike
seeming mortal wound
I deflect the blows of
scars that will never show.
So, unsheath my friend,
never my foe
your blows may rain
but I will grow.
Because I have walked
the burning coals
with blistered feet
of hardened soles.
My defence is none
save only love
and for this
I take up my sword.
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Comments by other Members
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 roovacrag at 22:45 on 04 November 2004
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Red, exquisite poem. Perfectly worded . 4th stanza I really liked a lot.
As always you have a way with words and so well written.
Well done.
xx Red mum.
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 joanie at 22:45 on 04 November 2004
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Christina, this is so strong and positive. I'm re-reading as I type, but my first impression is of calm control.
I really like the whole tone of this.
Because I have walked
the burning coals
with blistered feet
of hardened soles. |
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Excellent.
joanie
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The Walrus at 22:52 on 04 November 2004
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Red Mum, Joanie, what can I say, you are very generous. I thank you.
RD/Christina
x
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Okkervil at 10:42 on 05 November 2004
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Hi, Ms. Walrus! I enjoyed this- it's uplifing, while remaining sombre, not giddy- just quiet, calm and reassuring.
I'm not sure of myself at the best of times, but wouldn't it be 'in readiness for those'? I may, indeed, be wrong.
Thanks for steadfastness!
James
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The Walrus at 09:52 on 07 November 2004
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James, thanks for grammatical correction - have amended. Perhaps I should have explained the impetus for this was watching 'Kill Bill' (which I really liked!)
Thanks for commenting.
The Walrus
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Lawrenco at 23:18 on 07 November 2004
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This is a really interesting piece.The interplay between the reality of violence and the confusion of psychological scars;but with a renewed understanding of that pain and turn the other cheek to it,there seeing the power of the foe,if you change the energies of your foe into positivity then you have no foe,they become friends of sorts.Does this make any sense I thought it very good.The Red streak rides into the valley of the unknown.
"For this I take up my sword."
Had a William Blake feel.
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The Walrus at 09:37 on 08 November 2004
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Hi Patrick, yes your comments do make sense, a very accurate take.
Glad you liked it.
Thanks for commenting.
Red
x
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Chem at 15:40 on 08 November 2004
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Superb piece Bob!
(Apologies for coming late to this, coursework has called :-)
Em
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Don Gorgon at 21:47 on 08 November 2004
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The Walrus, what a cool piece of work! Kill Bill is a top film and for me your poem does have a bit of a 'bring it on'/'kick ass' feel to it and the last lines sound 'chivalrous', if you know what I mean? As has been said above, there is a calming tone about it all, much like Black Mamba in the film. Nice one, well captured. A very nice read!
Thanks
Don
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The Walrus at 13:36 on 11 November 2004
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Em/Don, belated thanks. Kill Bill is a top film! Glad you enjoyed my take.
The Walrus
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