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Take Heart Dear Child

by Carlton 

Posted: 02 November 2004
Word Count: 100
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What goes
what went
has not been spent
but makes a mem’ry for us all
each tiny precious moment hangs,
a picture on our wall.

To be is still to be
and though you see us fall
take heart dear child
fear not
our love is there for all.

From time to time
your head may drop
a tear well in your eye
fear not dear child
take heart
we’re all allowed to cry.

And when we’re done
our tears run dry
sit back and take a sigh
take heart dear child
fear not
our love will not run dry.






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Comments by other Members



The Walrus at 18:09 on 03 November 2004  Report this post
A gently reassuring piece. The 'ye' doesn't actually work for me - sounds twee. Purely subjective comment of course.

Wise words indeed.

The Walrus
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Carlton at 21:25 on 03 November 2004  Report this post
Thanks for the input Walrus. I was concerned about that. I suppose its not really a word for modern poems? I've also alternated the repetition in the third stanza. Do you think this improves it? Apart from altering the case of individual line starts, is there a way to stop msword from capitalising every line?
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The Walrus at 21:30 on 03 November 2004  Report this post
You're welcome Carlton. For me, it reads better without. Alternated repetion in third stanza looks better too. Re: MSword capitalising every line, yes, you need to go into options or tools or something, but yes, you can do it and set it to default.

Look forward to more.

The Walrus
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Carlton at 07:28 on 04 November 2004  Report this post
Thanks for the pointers, I keep learning every day!
C
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joanie at 15:44 on 04 November 2004  Report this post
Carlton, I liked the feel of this; it's comforting and, as The Walrus says, reassuring.

I agree with The Walrus but I would take it a stage further and miss out the 'And' before 'fear not' in the secaond and third verses. I think it sounds better, but that's personal.

Also, I would think about changing the first verse to

Each tiny precious moment hangs,
a picture on our wall.
Just an idea.

I enjoyed it.

joanie
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Carlton at 09:37 on 05 November 2004  Report this post
Thanks Joanie, I like those suggestions too. Hopefully my kids will as well.
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