FUTILE ANCHOR - FUTILE SAILS
Posted: 30 October 2004
Word Count: 75
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Desiring purpose I looked,
spreading my nets wide
across the ocean’s possibilities,
into this – that – these,
wondering what the hell
this life’s all about.
money?
Earned that.
learning?
Know that.
success?
Secured that.
Sex?
Married that.
religion?
Followed that.
things?
Owned that.
purpose?
Missed that.
So I pulled anchor,
planning to move on
down the coast some,
to more fertile waters,
to coasts with pleasures,
where life’s actual joys
must all be waiting.
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Comments by other Members
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 youngskywalker at 03:05 on 31 October 2004
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i like this,
you'll get us all thinkinng that the grass is greener, or should that be the ocean bluer?
"life's actual joys" sound worth looking for,
not sure what the ladies might think of the "married that" line though,
there's a nice flow to this piece,
good writing,
bryan.
<Added>
"purpose?", good addition Godfather, adds to the question of the first stanza, i think it ties the parts together nicely,
bryan.
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TheGodfather at 05:04 on 31 October 2004
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Skywalker,
I was actually thinking about that line while at my old school's Homecoming football game. I came up with a viable alternative. I appreciate the thoughts. I actually added another line as well. It's all work in progress, right?
TheGodfather
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Lawrenco at 10:04 on 31 October 2004
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I liked the positive anologues.The desired life it`s all about sensation and percieved success.
Reminds me so much of a beggining of a novel,and then something goes terribly wrong,but you stopped at inticipation so we don`t have to go there ,I enjoyed it.
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Souchong at 16:40 on 31 October 2004
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liked the conversational, casual tone of this, particularly strong in the final stanza. like lawrenco said - almost a novel. i like the change in structure of the middle stanza. then the easy return to the style of the first.
didnt see your original version, but from comments sounds as though you have already strengthened it. work in progress is always good view to take, imho.
i was wondering if it would be worth playing around with italics for all or bits of middle stanza - just for the look of the thing on the page. just a thought.
nice one
souchong
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 joanie at 20:17 on 31 October 2004
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"life's actual joys"... I can't even think about it without getting very ..... very ......ooohhh... I just gotta 'pull anchor'!
I love it!
joanie
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TheGodfather at 21:00 on 31 October 2004
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souchong,
Thanks for the suggestion. I had to work with it a bit. I wasn't sure I wanted to space the thing out, but I think it works. Again...thanks.
TheGodfather
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Don Gorgon at 00:37 on 01 November 2004
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The Godfather, I dig this poem. I love the lines, 'purpose? Missed that.', after you've ticked the rest off on the list you get to that, beauty, made me laugh! Make sure if you do find out what it's all about, get it copyrighted and quick!
Nice works!
Thanks
Don
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 Brian Aird at 11:06 on 01 November 2004
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It's hard to stay put if there's no sense of purpose. or least no 'spark'.
So you move on, and for a time it's great, till you ask that last question again.
Great poem; loved it.
Brian
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youngskywalker at 23:48 on 12 November 2004
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hey godfather,
been thinking about this one, "married that" had more of an impact, not sure if "enjoyed" has the same effect,
was wondering if "tasted" would be a bit over the top or not,
anyway, just a thought,
best wishes,
bryan.
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TheGodfather at 14:57 on 14 December 2004
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Thanks everyone for your insightful comments. I have made some changes, which you may have already read. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. I think it holds a lot of meaning for many.
TheGodfather
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