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Fledgling

by The Walrus 

Posted: 28 October 2004
Word Count: 95


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The stag bolted bravely
from warmth of undergrowth -
a reluctant but timely bid for freedom.

The doe stood stalwart,
watching the diminishing silhouette
obscured by branches dripping their dewlets.
Grief and gladness cleaved her breast.
Her son had finally left.

She knew he would not forget,
that from time to time,
he would return.

Severed leaves lilted
towards the resplendent spread -
the carpet of yellow and red,
the breeze of impending winter
rippled her fur, she shuddered
as she finally turned away,
taking comfort from the knowledge
that spring would once again return.






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Comments by other Members



joanie at 14:54 on 28 October 2004  Report this post
Christina, what a magnificent picture - victory and hope tinged with sadness. I love the idea that he was reluctant to leave the warmth but that he will return from time to time.

Beautiful ideas, conveyed with phrases like 'Grief and gladness cleaved her breast' and 'the breeze of impending winter
rippled her fur'
.

This is a lovely picture of autumn and of exactly what the title suggests, leaving the 'nest'.

I enjoyed this very much.

joanie

Okkervil at 16:21 on 28 October 2004  Report this post
'Tis very stylish writing, not wasteful with words, sort of nature documentary, sort of not. Y'can feel y'self crouching in wet bracken watching it all happen. And although I love winter, I can imagine deers might not, so from that point too, it's very hopeful!

Bye!

James

Don Gorgon at 20:57 on 28 October 2004  Report this post
A beautiful piece of work The Walrus. It paints a lovely picture in the minds' eye when your read it, with some great lines, 'a reluctant but timely bid for freedom', being me favourite. I really enjoyed reading it, nice one.

Thanks

Don

Chem at 21:56 on 28 October 2004  Report this post
Bob

An exquisitely crafted work of art. You certainly have a way with words!

Em


roovacrag at 12:44 on 29 October 2004  Report this post
Red a brilliant piece and one I loved dearly.

xx Red mum

The Walrus at 13:26 on 29 October 2004  Report this post
Thanks guys!

Joanie, yes, was trying to convey a balanced sense of sadness and joy, that endings always bring beginnings.

James, glad you could visualise - it was a very strong image for me. Hopeful, definitely!

Glad you liked it Don - cheers!

Em, Red Mum - too kind, as usual. Thanks so much.

The Walrus


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