Login   Sign Up 



by youngskywalker 

Posted: 19 October 2004
Word Count: 122
Summary: This poem is dedicated to a dear friend who inspired me to start writing earlier this year. This is definitely for you Poppy, Tuppence, Sorceress, Gilly you are very special to me.Thank You xxx.

Font Size

Printable Version
Print Double spaced


I could hear the church bells starting to chime,
as you sent to me colourful pages of rhyme.
With fragrant words, to break down defences,
and awaken all of the sleeping senses.
Of a mind so closed, shut tight,
allowing not one spark of light,
neither in, nor out to escape
from within its ghostly, sullen shape.

To allow my darkened eyes to see,
and my silent ear, to hear, the verses speaking out to me.
To un-shackle thoughts that were draped in chains,
and the tethered restraints,
that held me in my tortured hell.
Until from the sky, your poppy petals fell,
to release the anguished spirits within me,
and once more set my heart and soul free.

Bryan x

Favourite this work Favourite This Author

Comments by other Members

Fearless at 19:04 on 19 October 2004  Report this post

A moving tribute, with excellent imagery, borne out of reality, I liked it.

Write on, Woz

youngskywalker at 19:25 on 19 October 2004  Report this post
when i wrote it, i wanted to try and express the gratitude i have for her,
thank you for your positive comments they are very much appreciated,

Sazmac at 21:26 on 19 October 2004  Report this post
What a beautiful image of release and expression.

Looking fowards to more.


Lawrenco at 23:00 on 19 October 2004  Report this post
What are friends for?This!It`s what it is all about if one human being can reech another (as it were)and the other is receptive,it is a wonderful thing,and so eloquently ,intelligently put.Thanks and welcome.

Brian Aird at 23:47 on 19 October 2004  Report this post
I loved the metaphor, poppy petals for the colourful rhymes and fragrant words and the contrast between church bells and tortured hell.

I hope the recipient appreciates the work you put into that!


youngskywalker at 00:03 on 20 October 2004  Report this post
what can i say, thank you all so much,
i am glad you liked it, it lets me know i managed to express how i felt,and yes she loved it,
many thanks,

Ticonderoga at 15:59 on 20 October 2004  Report this post
Very beautiful and very well crafted; if you're new to poetry, then you've clearly got a natural ability. Just wondered whether 'restrains' shouldn't be restraints? Excellent. Keep scribbling!



gard at 23:54 on 20 October 2004  Report this post
Hi there youngsky!

what a lovely rhythm this piece has with its assonances and nice syllable scans...I felt myself just sailing along with it. Nice imagery too.

look forward to more!!


TheGodfather at 15:07 on 21 October 2004  Report this post

You make the rhymes work so well, truly creative and complete. I have to admit that I do have a favorite flower. It's the poppy. Thanks for the added metaphors.


Tuppence at 16:23 on 28 October 2004  Report this post
poppy still cries when she reads this
thank you cariad xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

youngskywalker at 18:23 on 28 October 2004  Report this post
you're welcome cariad,
thank you for all the words you've put in my head,
bryan xxx

Tuppence at 14:49 on 29 October 2004  Report this post
getting it framed my love xxxxxxxxxxxx

Tuppence at 00:21 on 01 December 2004  Report this post
pops reads this every day
and all that she can say
she cannot find a way
without airs and graces
different places
and listening to my heart
we're not so far apart

jewelsx at 12:14 on 20 February 2005  Report this post
simply beautiful


Jolie at 13:36 on 23 February 2006  Report this post
To allow my darkened eyes to see

I dont know why, but this line stands out to me. The entire piece is beautiful but I am captivated by this one sentence.

To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .


Other work by youngskywalker:      ...view all work by youngskywalker