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RLG 10

by Jubbly 

Posted: 07 October 2004
Word Count: 326

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I meant to call you. I know I should have. There were so many opportunities but whenever I tried…I just couldn’t find the words. I needed a break you see, selfish I know, especially now, under the circumstances. But I just needed to get away from it all, be myself for a while, think things through. But let’s face it, I haven’t any real excuse, I’ve been a bloody selfish fool and I’ll regret my actions forever my darling, forever.

When I finally found out what happened I was devastated, such a pointless loss of life, I simply couldn’t comprehend the repercussions of such a disaster. I kept my head down you see, didn’t watch the TV or read the papers, I just didn’t know, otherwise I’d have called someone..anyone, you have to believe me, I wanted to…I meant to…but….the longer I went without speaking to anyone , the easier I thought it would be, of course I’ve been proven wrong.

Then there was that awful memorial service. When I finally heard I knew I had to be there, it was too late for talking now. It was so surreal, all our friends and family, sat there, sobbing and broken. Whole lives destroyed in an instant. You looked so beautiful, just as I'd remembered you, if you believe nothing else, believe that of me. Then I saw how pale you were, all the colour drained from your once lively face, you were a ghost of the woman I’d loved and there I stood, a shadow of a man, torn apart by the grief on display. Touched that so many people had shown up.

Oh my love, I am so so sorry for putting you through so much heartache. I wonder if you’ll ever forgive me, will you ever find peace again.

You’re frozen still, shock has rendered you a statue, then you speak.

“Michael….you’re alive!”

I nod, “Yes I’m sorry, really, I had meant to call.”

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Comments by other Members

Account Closed at 06:45 on 08 October 2004  Report this post
For a moment I thought you were going ot write something straight, then I got to the end - just brilliant, what a turnabout!

I like the way he calls her a ghost but did wonder how he managed to see evreyone pretty close up without being recognised (dark glasses?)

When I finally heard I knew I had to be there, it was too late for talking now. = maybe a comma after heard and a full stop after there ir a colon (I think)

Oh, btw I'm guessing this is related to 9/11 but it doesn't have to be.

Have you read Sam Morris's The Lost Boys on the subject of men running away?


Jubbly at 08:04 on 08 October 2004  Report this post
Thanks Elspeth, no I haven't read Sam's piece will do. It's not really 9/11 just any instance where there's been some sort of explosion. It was more inspired about the destrucion of a plastics factory which happened recently in Scotland. Anyway as you said, it doesn't really matter. If I imagine the scene filmically, he would walk in, in a sort of slow motion and faces would look up at him with amazement and almost indignation so that you would still be kept guessing until she turned to face him. Hey, maybe I'll adapt this as a short film?



Account Closed at 08:11 on 08 October 2004  Report this post
You could do the man's voice as a V.O. watching the cermony from outside so that the viewer thinks he's a ghost à la six feet under and he could not be noticed straight away as he walks in to reinforce that, then tata she screams, heads turn, like a Mexican wave and they all get up and dance and praise the Lord.
Yeah, go for it, Julie!

Silverelli at 17:20 on 08 October 2004  Report this post
Wow, are you spying on me?
I can really relate to this like you have no idea, Jubbly.
Very surreal for me. All I can say is if you only knew. I have had these exact thoughts about 10 years ago.
Don't change a thing.
Reading the goods,


I just got the ending. What what? You threw me off guard.

Dee at 18:32 on 08 October 2004  Report this post
Oh… rockin’

I got right to the end wondering which one of them was dead, looking for the twist, but I still didn’t guess it until it socked me in the eye.

Bloody brilliant, Julie!

I can see him walking quietly into the back of the church, seeing his friends and family while they’re concentrating on what’s happening at the front. He would easily have time to see them all before they noticed him.

Love it.


Jubbly at 19:37 on 08 October 2004  Report this post
Thanks so much Adam and Dee, I'm glad you liked it. No Adam I'm not spying on you and I really hope to God you've never done anything like this.


crowspark at 22:39 on 08 October 2004  Report this post
What a bastard! You are far too nice to him. Couldn't she hit him or something?

Brilliant writing Julie.


SamMorris at 09:52 on 09 October 2004  Report this post

Really enjoyed this take on the RLG line. It kept me guessing until the end, which when it came was very satisfying. I agree - what a bastard!

(And thanks for the plug if you're reading Elspeth!)


me at 18:58 on 09 October 2004  Report this post
Fantastically rendered atmosphere leading to a marvellous twist. I really enjoyed this. Congrats


Anj at 19:59 on 09 October 2004  Report this post

Just fantastic.


scottwil at 08:37 on 11 October 2004  Report this post
Great stuff, Jubbly. I was thinking 9/11 too. Great twist, wonderful writing, as always.


Jubbly at 10:54 on 11 October 2004  Report this post
Thankyou lovely people for such lovely comments.


Account Closed at 06:37 on 14 October 2004  Report this post
Forgot to mention this the other day, was the repetition intentional?

When I finally found out

When I finally heard


anisoara at 13:05 on 15 October 2004  Report this post

This is excellent. You've threaded it along so that the reader has enough information to be comfortable while trying to fill in the blanks, and then you just let it go at the very end.

He is a royal b-----d, isn't he? It's written large in that first paragraph, the way he says "I’ll regret my actions forever my darling, forever." Though perhaps I am being a bit hard on him.... (See, I am worked up by your character - a very good sign, that!)


ShayBoston at 11:30 on 23 October 2004  Report this post
Hi Julie,

I liked the slow reveal and gradual build up to a well concealed ending. Fine flash.

Being picky...

repetition of 'needed' - perhaps 'had' or 'just had' instead of the second.

',forever' - '.Forever', for extra emphasis(?)

'proven' - proved?

Nice one,


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