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Come Armageddon, Come.

by Mac 

Posted: 30 September 2004
Word Count: 226


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"Are we going to Nanna's house?"
"Yes."
"I thought she was on holiday."
"She is. We're just doing something for her."
Jackie thought about how Bethany asked questions all the time. A typical four-year-old, she supposed. Taylor wouldn't be far behind but for now she was just 14-months-old and asleep in the pushchair that Jackie was navigating up the hill to her mother's house. George walked at the side and although Jackie was in the eighth month of her pregnancy he didn't offer to push. When they got to the house George had a look round inside.
"There's some nice stuff in here. I can get rid of that, and that."
Jackie nodded, mute.
"Don't forget, after you drop that bairn there's other ways of paying. Have you got the doings?"
"I've got a works in my bag."
"Sound."
Later, in the bedroom that she had dreamed in as a child, Jackie sat on the bed.
"What's this?" said Bethany, picking up a toy figure of a girl with long blonde hair.
"It's a beautiful Princess. Nanna gave it me when I was little like you."
"Can I have it?"
"If you want. You're my Princess. When you're bigger you'll marry a Prince and live in an enchanted castle." Bethany picked up the Princess and looked around for faithful subjects to give orders to.
"Nanna promised."






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Comments by other Members



ShayBoston at 07:38 on 30 September 2004  Report this post
Hi Mac,

Darker spin on the enchanted theme. Like it. Felt for the mother, nothing came of her own dreams. One question, what's 'a works', I couldn't figure that out. A fix?

Cheers,
Shay


Mac at 07:43 on 30 September 2004  Report this post
Shay,
a works is a hypodermic needle and syringe.

ShayBoston at 07:47 on 30 September 2004  Report this post
Aah, showing my innocence see. I only ever had the odd puff of a dooby back in the late eighties. I wasn't far off though!

Shay


Account Closed at 09:04 on 30 September 2004  Report this post
Phew, a deceptively innocent scene with such a powerful undercurrent. Heartbreaking. You've really captured the children's enchanted fairy-tale world vs the Harsh Reality.
Elspeth
ps I didn't understand 'a works' either

anisoara at 10:15 on 30 September 2004  Report this post
Mac,

This is loaded. And heartbreaking.

Though I puzzled over the exchange between Jackie and George as well. Are they stealing things from her mother's house to pay for drugs? Are am I on the wrong track?

That George is a real piss.

Ani



Mac at 10:50 on 30 September 2004  Report this post
Jackie's letting George steal in return for a bag of skag.
And yeah, he's a real piss but you know, all things must have their sustenance and George's sustenance is your possessions.

anisoara at 10:53 on 30 September 2004  Report this post
Mac,

Everything's clicked into place beautifully. This is superb. (But horrible.) A tale of anti-enchantment.

Ani

DerekH at 15:43 on 30 September 2004  Report this post
Hi Mac, A sad tale that paints a nasty picture...but paints it very well.

I had to read your comments to understand what was in the bag too, but once I knew, the scene was all too clear.

Strong stuff,

Derek.

Anj at 09:46 on 01 October 2004  Report this post
Mac,

There are so many details in here that make it so good - that George lets Jackie push the pram, letting us know he hasn't turned out to be the Prince she'd hoped for. Nanna and toddlers, showing us the innocence that surrounds Jackie, along with her childhood dreams. And that Jackie is so sunk she'll let George hock Nanna's things; and that George will do it shows us how bankrupt Jackie's dreams are. I had the sense that Jackie didn't believe that Bethany's dreams would materialise any more than hers did.

Heartbreaking.

Take care
Andrea



crowspark at 18:15 on 01 October 2004  Report this post
Hi Mac,
A very bleak tale well written. I liked the way you showed rather than told.
I particularly liked,

"There's some nice stuff in here. I can get rid of that, and that."
Jackie nodded, mute.

This sums up the situation for me. Simple yet effective. Childhood has ended and this is real life. Fairy tales are for children.

Great flash.

Bill


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