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childhood bed

by Sam Rix 

Posted: 29 September 2004
Word Count: 231
Summary: An attempt at the 3rd beginners exercise - childhood bed, It ran on to just over two hundred words ... I'll have a go at the alternative choice shortly. Sorry I've been off line this last week or so.. Sam

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Childhood bed

When I was young, the summers seemed to last forever and the night took an age to finally claim the sky, I’d lie in my bed, listening to the sounds of the street outside. Children of my own age and teenagers would still be out there playing, laughing and doing the very thing I was restrained from.

Above me in a bunk bed, my brother sat, we’d whisper for a while, play fight until our father called up a warning. Then I’d sit back and make up stories to tell him, letting my mind wander around, until a snore confirmed he was no longer awake. My brother slept like the dead, it was so easy for him to find slumber, he’d lay there unmoving, his teeth grinding and his breathing as heavy as a bellows.

Reclined on my bed in that heat, covers kicked back, legs akimbo in my underpants and staring at the ceiling, my bed was a soft prison. Unable to sleep, the hours seemed to drag by, I could always hear the television down stairs and my parents as they moved around.

I remember the slow decline in human noise, when just bird song remained as sunset fell as late as ten o’clock in the evening. I would sit at a window watching twilight fall and marvelled at lights from the passing planes and the stars.

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Comments by other Members

Anna Reynolds at 17:25 on 05 October 2004  Report this post
Sam, this has a very strong sense of nostalgia- the summers lasting forever, the sounds outside, the sense of imprisonment. There's a curious clue to something in that first paragraph- why is he 'restrained from' playing outside like the other children? The language also interested me- 'restrained', 'confirmed', 'reclined', 'prison', 'decline'- these all feel like a child trying out grown up words and getting them not exactly wrong, but oddly formal. Like the uncomfortable precipice between childhood and adulthood. There is a sense of frustration throughout the piece which really comes across. Very strong.

Sam Rix at 13:04 on 02 November 2004  Report this post
Hi Anna,
been away on business, sorry for the delay geting back to you.
Thanks for the input on this piece, your comments gave me food for thought when reflecting over this one.

thanks again for the help.

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