Login   Sign Up 



 

WE CALL HIM "JOSH"

by TheGodfather 

Posted: 29 September 2004
Word Count: 131


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


I don't know if I should call him a man
but he rides down my street every day
with his head tilted,
his short hair, just long enough to fall to the side.

His red 3-wheeler with its white wire-rimmed basket
and pole holding up its yellow flag in the back
and his blue jeans and chain and his ducktail,
his tie-dyed, Van Halen t-shirt and his bare feet
make for a good ride, I guess.

One man gets so enraptured watching him
that he forgets he's watering his lawn
and floods the same spot every day.

Older women walk to the curb,
hoping he will do something strange
besides ring that bell on his handlebars
as he rides past them down the street
slowly out of sight around the corner.






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



Anna Reynolds at 15:50 on 29 September 2004  Report this post
This feels like a short film, or at any rate, a slowmo image- a kind of poetic Groundhog Day. I loved the image of the man watching him every day and watering the same spot too long, and the expectation of the older women- you don't tell us what they expect, which I enjoyed.

joanie at 17:20 on 29 September 2004  Report this post
This is very descriptive. I love the leisurely, matter-of-fact feel to it. I also like what are almost asides: 'just long enough to fall to the side', '....make for a good ride, I guess'.

I enjoyed it.

joanie

<Added>

If I ever see him, I shall certainly recognise him!

Brian Aird at 21:53 on 29 September 2004  Report this post
Nice image you create here. Delete the first occurance of 3-wheeler perhaps?

The poem sort of burns the image of the red 3-wheeler and its white wire-rimmed basket with that uniquely dressed man (if you can call him that). Bare feet on pedals? - you don't say.

Brian



Anj at 14:00 on 30 September 2004  Report this post
I agree with Joanie, I love the leisurely feel to it. Captured a moment really well, although I had to consider for a while what kind of three-wheeler; first I thought of a toddler on his trike, so didn't understand.

Mind you, precious little sleep last night, so perhaps I'm just not on the ball.

Take care
Andrea

TheGodfather at 15:04 on 30 September 2004  Report this post
Thanks Anna, Joanie, Brian, Anj,

You all seemed to get the same impression. Good, good. I was hoping to create that feeling. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

TheGodfather

roovacrag at 21:19 on 30 September 2004  Report this post
Goddy a groundhog day to be sure. A pattern is repeated so he becomes part of the street.

Well done.

xx Alice


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .