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Turmoil
Posted: 25 September 2004 Word Count: 50
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Driving the long road to hell and back, volcanic turmoil, whirlwind like a vac, drawing everything in its power, to spit it out,scattering remanants all about.
Nothing left but pain and squalor going forth to all that follow, derelict place where once was life hurricane came,severed all like a knife.
Comments by other Members
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Chem at 18:03 on 25 September 2004
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Good imagery
Powerful poem, I especially love the last two lines.
Em
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Mooncat at 08:59 on 26 September 2004
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Hi Alice,
Really like the language: 'volcanic turmoil' and 'severed all like a knife' - says it all in few, but powerful words.
Best wishes,
Marie
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Epona Love at 16:01 on 26 September 2004
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Hello, Reading this brought to mind both the recent hurricane destruction and the personal emotional turmoils that can be equally destructive inside our minds. There is something about the words that you have choosen, "Volcanic" especially, that took me right back to my own feelings of anger and frustration years ago... (thankfully I am calmer now!) The line 'to spit it out' perfectly sums up, to me, the complete disregard that natural disasters show for the way that people have tried to organise their surroundings, making our attempts almost insignificant and us feel as small and vulnerable as ants in its wake. Very powerful words as Marie and Chem said, and thought provocing images. Enjoyed reading this...
Emma. x.
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roovacrag at 20:36 on 26 September 2004
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Epona,many thanks,yes it can be both hurricane thats torn countries apart in its wake. Also the human turmoil of the mind,troublesome and just as destructive.
xx Alice
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gard at 00:39 on 29 September 2004
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Hi Roova
i at first thought this was about the recent hurricanes but then on reading the comments I looked at the titel and decided it was about turmoil of the mind. Least thats what I think, then you said it anyway.
Like some of the phrases "volcanic turmoil"
nice short concise with some powerful imagery
G
is that a typo "remanants"?
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Anj at 14:08 on 30 September 2004
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The first two lines of this were cracking, but for me the use of "vac" (if you mean it as a foreshortened "vacuum cleaner") was a bit disappointing. I expected something more raging than a domestic appliance.
Love the last verse though
Take care
Andrea
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