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daydreams
Posted: 21 September 2004 Word Count: 302
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Now this is what we are going to do I am going to hold Your hand and We shall take a walk.
Over and past Jupiter and Rome, over and past the Old Horse at home, past the green guitar with moss all over And naturally but of course! the chimerical cliffs of Dover.
Now this is what We are going to see to see, to see and not to hear: Old men kissing pictures of grey&black crinkled photographs of women they barely knew, and little children staring up at the sweet counter begging for just one more yellow Bon Bon, awoorrr go’on just one more yellow Bon Bon man at the counter with grey balding hair.
But I’m gonna bet you didn’t see the fairy ghost bowing to sink through the gutter bars under the lame horse’s arthritic hooves, And I’ll make a bet that you didn’t see ‘em - those dogs with the caramel pink hair And I’m going to bet that you didn’t see him, the donkey that smokes marijuana whilst chatting to Donald the hare.
Now this is what We are going to do I am going to hold Your hand and We shall take a walk.
Down past a place called Reality And down to the depths of the lagoon. Down past a place where Sleeping Beauty still sleeps where the farting dwarfs sing their bawdy-laudy songs of erotica to the nymphs who dance on the moon.
Now this is what we are going to do as we turn and say goodbye to The Plot and drifts away to become a cloud.
Now I hope now that all this has happened I can reach out and hold your hand And now I hope that all this has happened We can turn and go for our walk.
Comments by other Members
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The Walrus at 22:06 on 21 September 2004
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This blew my mind. Another planet - fantastical maybe - but reassuringly real.
Tone and delivery, perfect.
The Walrus
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laurafraser at 22:15 on 21 September 2004
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Walrus,
thank-you! your comment blew my mind!- deeply flattered that you liked it-yey!
thank-you for reading
laura x
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Chem at 19:24 on 22 September 2004
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I really enjoyed this Laura. Your imagination is vast and vivid!
Very good.
Em
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Ticonderoga at 17:13 on 24 September 2004
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Wonderfully 'out there' and original, but also immensely disciplined and focused; you really have a voice of your own. Keep scribbling!!
Love & Mercy,
Mike
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Don Gorgon at 15:05 on 25 September 2004
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Laura, it sounds much more fun in your world in the poem, than in the 'real' world! Ganja smoking donkeys, I dig that! Hahahaha! Nice one!
Don
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laurafraser at 21:20 on 25 September 2004
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Em, Mike and Don,
glad that you like my poem-imagination i think can never be too wild, too tame yes but i hope to dive deep to the depths of mine and yet still manage to write poetry that strangers and friends manage to pick semblances (don't think that's a word. but what the heck...!) of coherence from...failing that hope people enjoy
thank-you for reading!
Laura x
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laurafraser at 13:27 on 28 September 2004
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Hey Laura
I thought that was pretty flippin' good.
I like your imagination. I like the style, I like the flow and pace. Fun.
Well done big sister.
Lol Charlie F
(Your Bro)
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laurafraser at 17:44 on 28 September 2004
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ahh! the perils of using your younger brothers computer they can see where you've been...and so you finally see my poetry-cheeky!
xxx
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Fearless at 18:02 on 29 September 2004
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Laura
Liked this. Anything with midgets and talking animals always gets me moist (with anticipation). Interesting voice - a bit schoolteacherish, with a bit of Slartybartfarst (from 'Hitchiker's Guide...') and of course, Lewis Carroll. Musically, it's like nursery rhyme meeting Funkadelic, meeting Shuggie Otis.
Your use of repitition in your work often sounds reassuring, but on the other hand, often hints at a bigger truth, as if you're waiting for the reader, for 'it' to sink in.
Write on, Fearless
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laurafraser at 20:12 on 01 October 2004
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Woz this is rather a delayed reply to your comment but just read it again and wanted to say interesting that you think a bit of carroll in it-i adore his nonesense poetry, esp. from alice and the looking glass -and so yey! for that link you made!
re the nursery rhymes i think yes the influence is there-they fascinate me as do all children's poetry and novels-from Aesop's fables to kipling to Dahl-i think they all have an inherent power that is lost in "adult" literature, because quite often the author is trying too hard to impress, or to appear mature....
wonder and excitement, learning and freshness are all associated with the child, the innocence of the lamb and with that comes a vulnerability that i find very attractive to play with in my poetry...
thanks for reading
x
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