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Black Squirrel

by gard 

Posted: 19 September 2004
Word Count: 269
Summary: firstish draft, comments welcome!


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Black Squirrel

The black squirrel
standing out like an alien dark-laser light
seems delivered down a wormhole in space
squeezed into a silent part of the woods
where no one ever goes

A talisman of universal secrets
this creature no smoky shadow rushing by
but tufted pointed ears coal pit eyes
fixed on me in passing

The flip side
my primitive being leaps out
voodoo thoughts in minds-eye
A rooster throat slit dies ravens take sudden flight
A storm blackens sky the sun slips behind an eclipse
A thousand voices unified sing solemn dark-chorus

How strange the requiem rising from my psyche
a moment of eccentric synchronicity
As if two lines of cosmic energy had just crossed
in some decided way I had accidentally arrived
disturbing the pattern that formed out of the disorder
But here I stand connected by two lines
the first and second halves of my own life
still open to something more

It hides behind the gravestone
twitching with brooded intent
tail flicking out obsidian spells
paws curled around acorns
A malevolent imp omened sprite
messenger from the underworld.
Nature’s fashion show of glammed up evolution
I watch it running wild across the grass
And I have seen two in as many days.




Notes

what an amazing creature I have seen two since comeing to the USA. I had not seen them before. They really are like little magical creatures from the woods and yet I know they are merely an adaption. I was quite stunned when I first saw one almost looking in our window. I have been desperate to photo one since then.







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Comments by other Members



itcametomeinadream at 20:18 on 19 September 2004  Report this post
I liked all of this, apart from the line: "How strange the requiem rising from my iPod "

It seemed out of place to me somehow. I guess I feel the words are too 'modern' or something, since I also read "nature’s bling" twice ;)

Andy

gard at 17:32 on 20 September 2004  Report this post
HI Andy!

thanks for your comment. Well I suppose you know why should the two things be so seperate that is nature and techno, my intention was not to write an old fashioned piece about the beauties of nature but the contrast between nature and science instinct and cognition....

G






Lawrenco at 00:36 on 23 September 2004  Report this post
Yes interseting...
I liked the snchronised flow(nature,tech) of the poem,but found some of it difficult to grasp.
The third stanza, pointillist voddoo thoughts in mind:Sueret v the witch doctor?How does the rooster throat slits still crows?
I like the imagery and the idea but not always (on this occasion) the delivery.
I would certainly not use those two lines in the third stanza as it makes the piece too lose(in my oppinion)."The"Requiem.
Though what great creatures!
What is a bling?
As you say it was a flirtish draft .
most of the poem I enjoyed though ,but certainly i`m sure it will balance up in the end.

Patrick.


Ticonderoga at 13:07 on 24 September 2004  Report this post
What a wonderful mix of the ancient and modern, the numinous and the actual, the atavistic and the futuristic!! Great stuff.

Love & Mercy,

Mike

gard at 16:06 on 26 September 2004  Report this post
Hi Lawrenco and Ticonder

thanks! Uum confusing I have had different responses to this piece. I was going to re-write the iPod bit and the "bling" which is a slang word for jewellery and all things that are shiny, glitter like diamonds trinkets and what not....but will definately alter the throat slit bit (in a moment or two). Maybe I need to soften some of the edges to make it flow better.

Lawrenco if you ever re-read, I hope you find it more palatable..let me know?

Ticonder thanks glad you like it!

G

Epona Love at 16:30 on 26 September 2004  Report this post
Hi Gard... strange timeing... As I was reading through the comments and came to yours saying that you would change the poem in a moment, I wondered if you had actually just done so and so refreshed the page... I feel lucky to have just caught both versions! And quite astonished by the different impact of each version... I do feel that the second version reads easier and still holds the same mystery and magic of the first, the flow is much better. I love this poem, an unusual apreciation of nature, beautifuly descriptive and very personal, experiencing through your eyes the wonder. Wonderful.

Emma x.

gard at 20:27 on 26 September 2004  Report this post
Hi Epona-Love

thanks yes that was strange timeing! I'm glad you prefer the newer version. It was hard for me to remove the "woolly mammoths"but I took everyones advice ha ha!

G


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