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Anchor

by BorderBound 

Posted: 01 September 2004
Word Count: 317


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Life throws an ache
A heart
It falls
Like fall
Brings down the leaves
To the ground
From the tree’s

And inside
Every tear drop
Of their eyes
I will source
I will empower
Some sort of lifestyle
To devour the ache I feel
To turn like a wheel and drive away from this town.
This guilt.
This lack of substance.

I see them sit
One man had just one eye
He looked at me with the other
Tried to smile
I gave him money
All I had
Still not enough
For a lousy bus ride

I’m sure he’d wanna get out of this dump.
Perhaps in time
I’ll have the money to show the world
That while half of it is starving
And the other forcing itself to loose weight
A medium is obvious
To everyone, but our present states.

Yes maybe in a few years
I’ll have the power to regurgitate
All the freedom that inside me shakes
Spread it all around.

The man with one eye will look me up and down
Rest his smile to a frown
What can he do with just a few pennies.
What can I give him when I lack in plenty.
Inside though im not empty.
I have ideas
Of freedom
Soul
And cost.
The choice I lost
When I said I was helpless
Until I saw that man
With just one eye
Smiling at me through the corner he despised.
So strong
Goodnight.


Night sits neatly
Calls me fake.
For its been years now and I haven’t delivered.
Nothing but broken promises
As the world claims it hasn’t received.

And daylight calls an illusion
A mist of silver in the clouds
As I find a new talent
And its me, the world has found.

One day soon I’ll come to you
Remove you from this fight.
The world has been in darkness for far too long now.







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Comments by other Members



Account Closed at 14:24 on 04 September 2004  Report this post
Great rap feel. Needs checking for some grammar though - eg "im" should be "I'm"? And ditto "tree's" - should it be "trees"??

I would also take out "some sort of" before "lifestyle" and just have "a lifestyle" - the first is too vague for this kind of sharp poem. And, radical thought alert(!) - I would be very tempted to take out the last 3 stanzas and end it with the one word line, "Goodnight." - I think this is where the poem's life stops, and the rest is just explanation of a future, which could be the beginning of a whole new poem.

Great stuff!

LoL

A
xxx

BorderBound at 20:54 on 05 September 2004  Report this post
if i took out the last 3 stanza's the poem wouldnt have the same meaning..

the whole point of the poem is to have two sections, (in fact - theres three)

As always I appreciate grammer, spelling, etc...

cheers miss B!

Montog at 11:18 on 07 September 2004  Report this post
Liked this Borderbound,
especially

"Perhaps in time
I'll have the money to show the world
That while half of it is starving
And the other forcing itself to lose weight
A medium is obvious
To everyone, but our present states"

Makes you think!
Montog


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