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The Real You

by Rosalind 

Posted: 02 June 2003
Word Count: 21

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You're nice

yet ultimately hollow

you speak

but not with truth

you're here

in body not in mind

you love


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Account Closed at 12:55 on 02 June 2003  Report this post

A piece of poetry where I understand what's going on. Praise the lord! Praise Jeeeeeesus!

Ahem. I like the way you've got the first lin in bold followed by the second in italics. It almost looks like the the second lines are a whisper, as though the real truth is being thought, but not said aloud.

I may be a complete moron when it comes to deciphering poetry, but I could read this without losing hair, which is a good thing, if only to me...

I like =)

poemsgalore at 18:43 on 04 June 2003  Report this post
Yes, I too thought the second lines were thoughts, if only we dare say the things we are thinking, a lovely poem.

didau at 16:12 on 05 June 2003  Report this post
Very simple, straightforward and prosaic.

One small thing, should 'your here/nice' not be 'you're here/nice'?

Sorry if that sounds pedantic, but I did enjoy it


ps I'm over on Poetry 2 if you want to proofread any of my stuff

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