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Hot Lips
Posted: 27 August 2004
Word Count: 64
Summary: I [i]think[/i] that this is as a result of looking at Dorothy Molloy's poetry last week in Poetry Seminar.... but then, it might just be that I am entertaining my husband's elderly aunt for a week!
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She looks at me with
a blank un-seeing stare,
understanding nothing
of what I say,
pink pouted lips
making garish stains
of long-lost youthful
abandon on the ice cream cone.
'Oooooohh!!' .. I flinch at
her schoolgirl laugh,
raucous and incongruous
in 'Caffè Espress'.
I see myself in
a quarter of a century
and wince at my sobriety;
Sod it! I laugh raucously too.
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Comments by other Members
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 Fearless at 00:16 on 28 August 2004
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Joanie
I liked this. Don't know why, but first I imagined Joyce Grenfell reading this aloud, and then Maureen Lipman. I guess I need some sleep, it's been a long week.
Write on, Woz
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 joanie at 00:18 on 28 August 2004
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Woz..... I love them both!! Should I be admitting that?
Thanks. joanie.
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Fearless at 00:24 on 28 August 2004
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Well, perhaps you should draw the line at fantasies involving clotted cream and a feather duster...but enough about me and Ken Dodd. Have you ever tried to write in the voice of another? Worth an experiment perhaps...as some of your poems are observational, it would be a good direction to explore.
Woz
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 Nell at 07:57 on 28 August 2004
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Hi joanie, I've arrived here from your link in the Poetry Seminar. You've made the situation here very easy to identify with by writing/speaking directly and straightforwardly to the reader. I love the 'garish stains...' The last line was a total surprise and raised a smile - a complete turnabout from the disapproving, slightly embarrassed tone that precedes it. I had a momentary hesitation over the ''Oooooohh!!' .. ' but that could just be me, see what others think.
If I hadn't already decided to grow old disgracefully this would have decided me!
Nell.
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fireweed at 09:55 on 28 August 2004
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joanie, you capture this moment so vividly, I agree with Nell that it is a recommendation for fun in old age, why not at any age? why wait? I think Dorothy Molloy may be behind the sense of freedom and possible anarchy (?)
fireweed
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The Walrus at 11:57 on 28 August 2004
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A vivid and uncomfortable snapshot finished by a bold dash of humour - well played. Better to laugh with...
The Walrus
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poemsgalore at 13:07 on 28 August 2004
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Actually, it made me think of Thora Hird, but that's my problem. It also remindind me of another poem about getting old, but I can't remember the title (must be getting old). Great stuff.
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roovacrag at 14:10 on 28 August 2004
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Joan.. A great piece,made me think of other people.
Worked with people with learning disabilities.
Like the elderly they do stare and look blank, then shoot up and wow we have voice.
Laugh at it all,make them laugh as well.
Well done.
xx Alice
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joanie at 18:57 on 28 August 2004
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Nell, fireweed, The Walrus, poems, Alice .... Thank you all for responding.
Nell, I know just what you mean about the 'Oooh!; I was trying to express her laugh but I think that it can't really be expressed in words! (I am smiling in a martyrly way as I write). I think that perhaps I need to have a re-think.
It's interesting that you have mentioned Maureen Lipman, Joyce Grenfell and Thora Hird. I adore observational 'comedy'.
Woz, I do write often in the voice of another, but ususally in rhyming verse and for a slot on local radio. It isn't really what I would post on WW. Perceptive of you again!
Thank you all again for the positive responses. I am constantly reminded on WW how important it is to respond.
poemsgalore, were you thinking of 'I shall wear purple'?
Many thanks again everybody!
joanie
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joanie at 20:18 on 28 August 2004
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I have had to change the title from 'Abandon' to 'Hot Lips' because the Aunt in question has just told me that the boy on the chicken stall on the market calls her 'Hot Lips'. What a pity you can't all meet her.
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fireweed at 21:02 on 28 August 2004
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joanie, Hot Lips is the perfect title for this poem as it really sets the tone for the liveliness of your aunt's character. She sounds great fun.
fireweed
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olebut at 08:59 on 31 August 2004
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Joanie the main thing about this, apart from being well crafted is it has great humour and imagery , how many times have we seen or been in this situation ourselves. Over the top to red lipstick and clothes so out of place as to almost make her a fashion statement.
loved it
david x
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joanie at 11:11 on 31 August 2004
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David, many thanks! Yes, you're right! She gets some very funny looks; perhaps looking on her dress sense as a fashion statement will help me to cope when I take her out!
Glad you liked it.
joanie
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