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Departing
Posted: 22 August 2004 Word Count: 65 Summary: A resolved ending
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At the crossroads should we meet Without a selfish step approach Hold palms upright waving white To tame the beast of lost familiarity
Do not stop to dine on past morsels We acquired each others tastes Such richness our palettes paled Assuming hunger was my right
Safe journey now my friend I watch you grow distant Your stride grows strong The sun sets on us
Comments by other Members
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The Walrus at 13:46 on 22 August 2004
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A wistful piece DT, ending with what sounds like an honest tone of acceptance and affirmation of friendship.
Liked this very much.
The Walrus
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roovacrag at 13:35 on 23 August 2004
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DT excellent poem. Liked the third stanza of the departing.
Welcome to WW.
hOPE YOU WRITE MORE.
XX aLICE
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EmiliaDG at 17:17 on 23 August 2004
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I enjoyed this poem so much. It has a wonderful sense of atmosphere to it. I particularly like, 'Do not stop to dine on past morsels, We acquired each others tastes' which rings with such truth.
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olebut at 09:01 on 24 August 2004
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DT welcome to Write Words I hope you enjoy the experience and saty around.
A wistful piece which projects anumber of images mostly I think love for your fellow human. I especially like
I watch you grow distant
Your stride grows strong
but then surely the sun should never set on friendship ?
take care
david
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Ticonderoga at 15:50 on 25 August 2004
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I love the lack of sentimentality in this; it could have been a rather mawkish poem, given the apparent subject matter, but, even that is nicely ambivalent. There's a great feeling of clear-sightedness and generosity, which is enormously appealing. Keep scribbling!
Best,
Mike
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DT at 16:52 on 25 August 2004
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Thank you for your comments, much appreciated.
David your right , hope the sun doesnt set on the friendship.
This however was about lost love resolved, sometimes there are no answers and all you can do is accept.
DT
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miffle at 18:37 on 02 September 2004
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An accepting and measured piece DT (!?): a poem that to me seems to have settled naturally into place, a bit like the calm after the storm. I like too the idea of 'acquiring others tastes': for me suggests that those tastes were 'rare'. Write on, Nikki
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llydstp at 12:20 on 04 September 2004
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Congratulations for writing this. Sad, beautiful and perfect.
Steve.
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Juan2 at 21:12 on 27 August 2006
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I like this poem because the emotion of it is so clear. The dissonance of the end-lines really evokes the acceptance involved and yet has the slightly harsh, grating taste that is sure to be left behind in such a relationship.
The third stanza has a sort of Haiku feel to it. It is the only one I thought was a little too Hallmark-cardish. It seemed less mature, especially right after the second stanza which I thought was notably delicious.
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- If we were to travel faster than the speed of light, we would warp space-time. Perhaps creative thought travels faster than the speed of light and that is why, when we dream, our souls are given access to other worlds.
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