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Free

by Jubbly 

Posted: 17 August 2004
Word Count: 273
Summary: Flash ESCAPE exercise.


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She knows I canít get out, canít go anywhere unless she wants me to and she loves the power that comes with that knowledge. Here I sit bored and frustrated. I dream of all the things Iíd rather be doing, all the places Iíd love to go to. But she is in charge of my destiny and she is always in such a hurry. Weíre always late she says over and over like a self-fulfilling mantra. So we rush everywhere, faster and faster until I feel sick, the bile gathers in the pit of my stomach and churns like butter, I think of it and all at once it shoots upward toward my gullet but I quickly swallow it back, she doesnít like vomit, it disturbs her greatly even makes her weep and I know from experience it does not pay to upset her.
Up and down bump bump bang, I am a mountain goat without the grace, a mountain bike without the brakes. The stench of my life chokes me, the constant noise infects my innocent mind, but yet I sleep, somehow I manage this and when I awaken I am still here, still trapped by my uselessness, but not for long, this much I know, Iíve seen the future and soon, very soon she will not longer be my master. One day my legs will carry me as fast as she can and I will out run her and then I will be my own master, I will bid farewell to this foul stained chair of mine, soon, very soon after all on my next birthday I will be three.






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Comments by other Members



jdsharpe at 21:34 on 17 August 2004  Report this post
This is great, it really hooked me in and kept me reading and wanting to know more and more about who the person is and why this woman is looking after and controling them.

The final line is perfect and made me smile and laugh.

JDS

Elsie at 22:08 on 17 August 2004  Report this post
Gosh Jubbly, made me think of when my little one made her first break for freedom - Barnes Pond! Eugh- foul stained chair? I hope that's just sunshine breakfast and chocolate pudding. ( I used to take Rosie to Tescos to feed her in the cafe - saved clearing up the high chair...)

scottwil at 13:09 on 18 August 2004  Report this post
You got me. I was completely wrong-footed here. This piece has all the sinister overtones of 'Misery' and 'whatever happened to Baby Jane?'before being subverted by the hilarious final line. Brilliant Julie.

Best
Sion

anisoara at 17:40 on 19 August 2004  Report this post
At first it seems like the narrator is talking about a dominatrix, but then N (for narrator) says s/he is bored and frustrated, so the She no longer sounds like a dominatrix, as that is anything but boring! So then I think she's a spiteful wife.

Like the mountain goat without the grace, mountain bike without the brakes -- even though it'd a riddle waiting to be resolved (which it is by the end). It has a nice rhythmic rhyming sound.

The bit that follows -- it SOUNDS like N is talking metaphorically, and then ---- as it turns out, it's all very literal!

Very funny. I think you had fun with this.

Ani

<Added>

it's (not it'd) - I can't type. Really.

crowspark at 00:05 on 20 August 2004  Report this post
Really enjoyed this one. It makes me want to go out and liberate a 2 year old. Cast off the bibs of oppression, you have nothing to lose but your readybrek.

Regards
Bill

DerekH at 13:28 on 13 September 2004  Report this post
Sorry, new here so commenting late....

I'm glad I didn't read the other comments first, because you got me too... like Sion, I was beginning to visualise a 'Misery' kind of scene... so the end made me smile.

Derek.

baroque at 07:33 on 01 October 2004  Report this post
Well, maybe its just that I grew up with a similar mother, one who should not be upset and certainly did not approve of vomit, but I was with it from the beginning. Great piece, I remember the stained chair from my youngest - always covered in the only thing she would ever eat (Tomato Soup and bread crumbs) makes alovely glue.

Claire

<Added>

a lovely

Celt at 18:51 on 24 November 2004  Report this post
I found myself racing at the end, almost desperate to find out who the subject was. :-)
well done.
Take care,
Paul.


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