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MOVING ON

by roovacrag 

Posted: 14 August 2004
Word Count: 86


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How many hours have I cried over you?
all the tears and sorrow anew,
the time has come to get a new life
I will always be, your loving wife.

I took the blinkers off at last,
brushed the heartache into the past,
walking towards the future,head high,
determined now, never to cry.

I will always miss your presence here,
you always told me not to fear,
so I will walk forward to see what lies ahead,
till once more we meet,no more to be said.






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Comments by other Members



The Walrus at 15:04 on 15 August 2004  Report this post
Brave, pain-filled piece Stan. Learning to let go is probably one the hardest things we have to do - captured well.

Red
xx

Elsie at 15:13 on 15 August 2004  Report this post
Alice, moving on is a good thing - and not something you should even think of feeling guilty about - because your love is so sure. Els

olebut at 15:34 on 15 August 2004  Report this post
Alice strong emotions,and the bais of a good poem but one or two parts grate a bit onthe rhythym and I think to help it along perhaps you should consider


in line 2 removing the second 'all' before the word 'anew', also

add a comma after the word 'be' in the last line of that verse,and after 'now' in the last line of the second verse

in line 2 of verse to remove the word 'away',
line three remove the word 'walk' or change it to 'walking' and remove ' held'

in verse 3 line 2 add the word 'me' after told,

a good poem

take care

david x

roovacrag at 16:06 on 15 August 2004  Report this post
Red thanks for comment glad you like it.
xx Alice

roovacrag at 16:07 on 15 August 2004  Report this post
Elsie thanks for comments. Not easy took a long time.
xx Alice

roovacrag at 16:10 on 15 August 2004  Report this post
David many thanks for your comments. I have added and taken away and it is much better.

Thank you my friend for taking the time to point it out.
Always read what you have to say and take note.

xxAlice

deblet at 19:22 on 15 August 2004  Report this post
Brave and touching Alice. A poignant and well written piece.

deblet X

Jumbo at 19:25 on 15 August 2004  Report this post
Very nice, Alice.

You can feel the emotion catching on every word.

All the best

jumbo

roovacrag at 21:51 on 15 August 2004  Report this post
deblet,jumbo many thanks for your comments.

xx Alice

Ticonderoga at 15:26 on 16 August 2004  Report this post
Wonderful balance of sorrow and strength; lovely, Alice.

Best,

Mike

roovacrag at 21:55 on 16 August 2004  Report this post
Mike thanks for comments. We have to move on ,even if its taken a long time.

Not easy to get over love.

xx Alice


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