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Fear
Posted: 08 August 2004
Word Count: 64
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How dare you
show your face
after all the havoc
you have wreaked.
The grinning prosthetic
can stretch no more,
your tendons are slackening -
their previously, seemingly infallible, grip -
finally the welts heal
from the now redundant whip.
I have served you notice -
your departure
was long overdue.
Don’t dare
cast your shadow
across my door.
You are welcome no more.
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Comments by other Members
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 Bobo at 21:58 on 08 August 2004
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Strong and almost fearsome piece Walrus. Eloquent as always, but with a real jagged edge. Remind me never to cross you... ;)
BoBo x
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miffle at 10:46 on 09 August 2004
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Walrus, strident piece! On one level it works allegorically in a similar way as your 'Guilt' poem. I like too the tension in the piece.
'the tendons are slackening': 'the' / 'your' / 'my' / 'its' (?) not sure about 'the' (?): I do find it interesting how one small word can alter meaning...
'welts': great word! Sound just feels uncomfortable!
Miffle
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The Walrus at 13:18 on 09 August 2004
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Bobo, thanks, yes the voice is a strong one, rarely used ;-) attempting to reflect the powerfully destructive impact that fear can have on a person.
Miffle, yes, it is similar to 'Guilt' (thanks for remembering). Think you right on tendons bit - have changed to 'your'.
Comments always appreciated. Thanks.
The Walrus
x
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olebut at 17:26 on 09 August 2004
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Walrus strong imagery, controlled anger good use of words as has been said I too like welts and also these lines
The grinning prosthetic
can stretch no more,
your tendons are slackening -
sounds almost like some monster created by Dr Frankenstein.
I hope the pain that comes through though is not yours
take care and as usual it is another one that hits the spot
david
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The Walrus at 18:29 on 09 August 2004
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Thanks David for your comments and kind words. Based upon my own experience, yes, (but not a character I associate with anymore); ultimately a generic take on a rife and debilitating human emotion.
Take care too.
The Walrus
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roovacrag at 20:29 on 09 August 2004
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Red,
Loved this. Sounds like a redundancy long overdue.
Well done.
xx Red mum
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Fearless at 13:05 on 11 August 2004
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Red
Strong, strident, as the first comments said, but this piece also contains a slither of realisation, a shift in the balance of power and a heavy dose of finality.
Write on, Fearless
xx
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The Walrus at 20:04 on 11 August 2004
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Thanks Fearless, more than just a slither... a heavy dose of finality? A resounding, yes.
Thanks for your comment.
Red
xx
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