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AM, Cycle. hard, well

by gard 

Posted: 01 August 2004
Word Count: 139
Summary: First draft from my online class I am taking part in, comments welcome! (I know its a bit silly)


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AM, Cycle, hard, well

what does it mean this cycling thing?
Crankshaft creaks metal cleets clicked in
turn those wheels in a spin spin dream.

Pace is high hear the wind ride raw wing
duck tuck down, feel fast air soar slim
I turn those wheels in a spin spin dream.

What does it mean this cycling dream?
legs gone agog with knees caving in
turn those wheels in a spin spin thing.

Crankshaft creaks and cleets clicked in
clip the gears as gristle-grit burns thin
still turn those wheels in a spin spin dream.

Back is battered, wrecked neck locked in
wheels waste rubber, lungs burst skin
what does it mean this cycling thing?

What does it mean this cycling scene?
Turn those wheels in a spin spin dream
see woes whizz by in a speedy shin skim.






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Comments by other Members



Lawrenco at 17:21 on 01 August 2004  Report this post
I really enjoyed the unauthordox aproach ,an almost slang ,but still guite simple to follow and gives it a more humourous angle great fun ;it certainly is a change from your usuall style and should be developed ...possibly?
Good stuff.-That reminds me must go for bike ride.

roovacrag at 20:18 on 01 August 2004  Report this post
Gard,excellent .Flowed well and enjoyable to read.
xx Alice

The Walrus at 20:22 on 01 August 2004  Report this post
Laughed my tits off reading this, I cycle most mornings and often wonder what the hell I'm doing it for.

The Walrus

joanie at 22:29 on 01 August 2004  Report this post
Brilliant, G! Will you be doing it tomorrow??

joanie

gard at 00:22 on 02 August 2004  Report this post
lawrenco, roova, walrus, joanie

thankyou!

Walrus, ooh that sounds painful. Joanie, yes I expect I will...

G

miffle at 01:32 on 02 August 2004  Report this post
A cyclical structure very apt. Yes nothing like speed to chase the worries away: when I had a horse I would go for a gallop :-) Never got into cycling myself: perfer to be out and about with a living thing! A long hot bath my prescription... Write on, Nikki

LONGJON at 02:33 on 02 August 2004  Report this post
Hi Gina,

I enjoyed this piece, strong repetitive rhythm, with a powerful overtone of rap in it. Would be a very good performance piece, could even use say three readers, bouncing the verses between them.

Could I suggest something, second line, fourth verse, seems to break the rhythm?

Much enjoyed,

John P.

ShayBoston at 19:22 on 02 August 2004  Report this post
Great, fun poem. Love the rythm and repitition.

Shay


gard at 01:50 on 03 August 2004  Report this post
hi miffle LJ and ShayB

thanks!


LJ see what you mean will think, about it in a bit (day or so I guess). Miffle, yes
I love horses, Did used to ride a lovely kind chestnut, she was beautiful (not mine)..got took off on a racer once, came off! had many difficulties overcoming that, still have not. Fallen off my bike lots, guess I got back on it straight away..

G

Ticonderoga at 10:49 on 03 August 2004  Report this post
fair amount of delightful cummingsery (and goingsery!); JOYOUS!

Mike

fevvers at 17:32 on 01 October 2004  Report this post
Hi Gard

I just wrote a lovely long notice telling you about a cycling organisation for people with disabilities and a poetry competition they're running for raise funds. I'm not going to write it all again because the preview button below ate it! If you'd like to enter the competition contact jo4cakes@hotmail.com for a flier. the org is called Pedal Power and is committed to offering the experience and enjoyment of cycling to adults with such diverse conditions as Cerebral Palsy, Autism, Down’s Syndrome as well those people with a combination of severe physical and learning difficulties.

There will be an anthology of cycle poems and a cash prize for the winner.

cheers


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