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Fixed Lovers
Posted: 30 July 2004
Word Count: 52
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cold in bed
shivers shakes
cramp fever
sweat drips
I ache for you
I want you
one last time
I'm down
pick me up
hold me
don't let go
take hold of me
vein deep
let's get high
I want to feel you
one last time
then I will go
cold turkey
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Comments by other Members
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 joanie at 08:34 on 31 July 2004
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Lottie - good title. I really enjoyed this with its parallel meanings. Yes, you can certainly get high on love. I like the good intentions at the end too, and the doubt that it's going to happen!
joanie
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 Fearless at 09:22 on 31 July 2004
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Starkly devastating with a slightly sing-song rhythm, and as Joanie says, parallel meanings. Reminds me of a twisted Phil Spector....'vein deep, mountain high' (apologies to Ike & Tina Turner).
Write on, Fearless
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roovacrag at 22:01 on 31 July 2004
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Lottie good poem. title good to the poem.First 2 lines gets you reading more,like that. Holds the readers attention. Something a lot of writers fail to see.
Grab the reader by the throat in first page,or in poetry first 2 lines.
Well done.
xx Alice
<Added>
Always one more fix. Then it's too late, your hooked.
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The Walrus at 20:37 on 01 August 2004
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Straight to the point... love/lust... the eternal drug.
Very much enjoyed reading this.
The Walrus
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miffle at 02:12 on 02 August 2004
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Made me think! 'Fixed': well yes in one way but screwed up in another... This to me is 'addiction' but I would not call it 'love': unless that is 'love' is a desperate, needy, selfish, self-destructive thing (?) I call that being used... Regards, Miffle
NB 'One Last Time': perhaps an alternative title?
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Lottie at 10:25 on 02 August 2004
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Hello
Joanie, Fealess, Alice and The Walrus , thank you for your comments :-)
Miffle - yes you are right it's about addiction - could be construed to either love / drugs - or both!! You are right about the title, I had trouble with it!! In fact, titles are not something that I feel I'm good at. I also believe that this poem needs a bit of work too. Thanks for your comments :-)
Regards,
Lottie :-)
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Account Closed at 22:15 on 02 August 2004
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Lovely "rap" feel to this. I didn't want it to stop! - maybe you could do a series?!...
Would be great when read aloud too.
LoL
A
xxx
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peterxbrown at 23:09 on 02 August 2004
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I love the mix of obsession and addiction, love, lust and drugs.It captures the excitement and abandonment of surrender to the flame. A powerful and very insightful poem.
peterb
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Ticonderoga at 11:36 on 03 August 2004
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Very strong sense of the ferocious difficulty, even when essential, of tearing the terrible ties that bind...........amatory addiction is the loveliest/most dangerous of all! Keep scribbling.
Best,
Mike
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Lottie at 15:02 on 03 August 2004
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Holly, Peter and Mike,
Thank you for your comments
Thinking on from the last post I made to miffle's response about being used rather than loved. A lot of love relationships are abusive and one sided where a one partner is used!! or that's the feeling that I get listening to a lot of my friends etc!! I guess what I'm trying to say is you can be addicted to being used in a relationship as well as a drug - so it does fit both...
I think I'm going to have a play with this one and see if I can explore those feelings too.... :-)
I've put a post on the board with regard to titles!!!
Regards and thanks!!
Lottie :-)
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Sam Rix at 23:21 on 31 August 2004
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Hi Lottie,
A good piece, lots of emotion carried within, desperation, need, fear, regret, I liked it in an almost perverse way.
Life seems to have this hidden rule, we cling to that which is bad for us, food, drugs, bad lovers, crap jobs and poor prospects.
Its as if we all have this innate need to try that bit harder to change what we have little hope to change, it must be a by product of our evolutionary programming to not give up, to keep striving to live.
Your words made me sit back and think, my compliments for getting the grey matter sparking…
Love and luck
Sam
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