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The son he forgot he had

by Stacey 

Posted: 26 May 2003
Word Count: 111
Summary: I wrote this whilst watching a child on his skateboard. His determination completely moved me, he had a sparkle in his eyes that I had never seen in a person that young.
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Go on
Try again
Don’t give up
He’s still watching

Beads of sweat emerge on
The young boy’s brow
Breathless from trying
Yet more determined
He has another go

He’s becoming tired now.
But surely Dad is watching?
He must be impressed
Even Christian can’t skate like this

Ok
One more attempt
I’ll show him that new move I was taught
If it’s the last thing I do

Yes

Result

I did it

Proud
I have never felt so proud of myself.

But he hadn’t been watching me.
Not even for a minute

He was too busy with his new girlfriend, Jane

Just another failed attempt
At winning my Dad back.











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Comments by other Members



roger at 15:38 on 26 May 2003  Report this post
Hey, Stace, that's sad....good, but sad.
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Stacey at 18:02 on 26 May 2003  Report this post
Hey again Rog,

Thank you to my biggest fan! Lol.

Stace ;0)
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roger at 18:52 on 26 May 2003  Report this post
I am a fan, but I know you've got others. I've tended to stay away from poetry because, to be honest, I find much of it pretentious. But yours isn't, it's good, but it's readable to dumbos like me....I don't have to spend 20 minutes trying to work out what it's saying; and life's too short for that. So keep it up, girl!
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Stacey at 18:58 on 26 May 2003  Report this post
Aaawww Rog, thanks so much again! I agree, poetry can completely baffle me and to be honest I just don't see the point. In my opinion, it is all about a natural flow, and speaking what is in your mind..and the entire Oxford English Dictionary is certainly not in mine! Lol. Thanks for appreciating my simplicity, yet understanding the depth of my poetry as well. Your a star!

Best wishes,
Stacey.
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roger at 19:05 on 26 May 2003  Report this post
No, kid, you're the star, I'm just the plonker from Derby. But we agree 100% re poetry...keep it simple so more people can benefit from it; and that doesn't mean that it can't say something, that it can't have meaning. We'll show 'em....you with your ability and me with my big mouth!
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olebut at 08:36 on 04 June 2003  Report this post
Stacey

having read this a few times I have wondered what I can say that is constructive but it strikes me that poems and stories such as this may have a useful purpose with the charities and support organisations that support the children of divorced families. Why dont you try then and see if they would like to use your poem, no money but the staisfaction of helping those in need

anyway just a thought

take care

david
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