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A Silent Phone

by Bee 

Posted: 29 July 2004
Word Count: 99
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The silence rips, spits and shakes
Its eyes so white its arms held wide
The taunt the leer the hiss the laugh
I cover my eyes to let it all out

I stand I sit I walk I sigh
I watch the cradle, the neck so snug
I vent I hit I smoke I sob, I want
So much to curl and die

The noise of still so wild in my ear
I implore I beseech I beg for the shrill
Of the sound that I loathe so much
The soft of the voice to appease and to touch








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Comments by other Members



miffle at 20:21 on 29 July 2004  Report this post
Bee, the lack of punctuation fits the mood here! Bit of a word stamp I thought!.

I find it interesting too that some of the words in the last verse perhaps verge for me towards the more archaic:

'implore' 'beseech' 'appease' 'loathe' (?)

Loved:

the neck so snug


harbours your disdain! And I heard an echo of 'smug' in 'snug': almost as if you meant that too! Because, yes, I think that damn phone could be smug ;-)

Wasn't sure about the phrase 'noise of still'... Didn't entirely understand 'I cover my eyes...' phrase in the context of the poem (?) to block it all out?

Energetic piece, kind regards, Nikki


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roovacrag at 18:03 on 30 July 2004  Report this post
Bee,
agee with Nikki on this.

Very good poem,really liked it.

well done.

Alice. xx
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poemsgalore at 18:21 on 30 July 2004  Report this post
I also liked the way you have fooled us into thinking it was a rhyming poem when actually, it isn't. The verses bob along to a bouncy rhythm that belies the anguish in the words.
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