We all went to see Finding Nemo at the weekend – and very entertaining it was too. Such is the popularity of this computer-generated animation, the showing that my kids and I attended was completely sold out. This full-house situation limited our enjoyment of the movie, not least because of the sheer amount of noise generated by the amount of people it takes to fill a large cinema.
When I pay a fiver to see a movie, I expect to hear it as well as watch it. Unless subtitles are added, dialogue is crucial to the understanding and appreciation of the movie. Although it is difficult not to hear the atrociously loud whiz-bang action scenes of any given film, it is tremendously hard to catch the quietly spoken moments in between when there is a barrage of noise emanating from fellow spectators.
The particular noise that had me on the edge of my seat ready to shout ‘Shut Up’ at a rate of 150 decibels wasn’t caused by the mastication of popcorn, the unwrapping of sweets or the ingesting of fizzy drinks through a narrow straw. My irritation was caused by the sound of babies wailing, crying and screeching.
I just cannot understand why parents would take anyone under the age of three to the pictures. Surely they should wait until their offspring’s attention span has sufficiently developed to allow the process of events in a one and a half hour movie to be absorbed and understood?
Don’t misunderstand me – I’m not one of those sour-faced types who believe children should be seen and not heard - far from it. I am all for family-friendly policies, be it in the workplace, in government legislation or simply just in restaurants. After all, dining out is all about noise - chatting, laughing and the odd screech from a toddler are all part of the experience, as far as I’m concerned. But one of the prerequisites of going to the flicks is little in the way of distraction, leaving you free to enjoy the film that you paid to go and see.
Next time I go and see a kids’ movie, I think I’ll forget about booking for the opening weekend. I’ll leave it for a couple of weeks and go after the world and his toddler have been. It’s the only way to stop me from literally losing the plot.