Login   Sign Up 



 

MELODY OF MUSIC

by roovacrag 

Posted: 12 July 2004
Word Count: 131


Font Size
 


Printable Version
Print Double spaced


We danced,how we danced,
twirled the night away.
We wanted it to go on all night
I knew you couldn't stay.

I drifted through the skies and stars
searched the oceans few,
wish my love to hold you now,
kiss you through and through.

Not my time to sing our song
music suddenly dies
now my love am i so wrong?
How did our love survive.

Been alone ,oh so long
just waiting for the time
to be rejoined in love once more,
is that such a crime?

They will play our music
simply play our song.
'THE WEDDING' it will always be.
to prove our love was strong.

Keeps the harps a playing,
John lennon is there too,
perhaps we get a rock band
Of all who died before you.






Favourite this work Favourite This Author


Comments by other Members



Ticonderoga at 14:37 on 12 July 2004  Report this post

Alice,

Very evocative of loss and longing and the passage of time. Extremely moving, too. Keep scribbling.

Best,

Mike

Fearless at 14:43 on 12 July 2004  Report this post
Al

The dew of loss and longing drip off the flower of your love. Dance on man, woman.

Fearless
x

roovacrag at 14:54 on 12 July 2004  Report this post
Mike,Woz. Thanks for comments. Wish you would all get a passion so beautiful.
Everynight a bonus flower.
xx AL

joanie at 19:20 on 12 July 2004  Report this post
Hi Alice. Very emotional. 'simply play our song' - I'm sure you'll get there!
joanie

miffle at 22:14 on 12 July 2004  Report this post
Alice, a waltz perhaps? Music, dancing, love - Shakespeare would be proud! Especially liked the idea expressed in the last two lines. Nikki


roovacrag at 13:19 on 13 July 2004  Report this post
Joan,Nikki,
Thank you for you comments.
Nikki yes was a waltz,played on our 25th anniversary in Amsterdam. We danced down the full length of a boat with friends looking on.
A night to remember.
xx Alice

olebut at 19:36 on 13 July 2004  Report this post
Alice

very simple very effective almost a lyric

one typo 'ocean'

sadly verse 5 doesn't quite scan for me and disrupts the overall flow although I understand why you have used the last line. ( sorry no suggestions at this point)

In the last verse I think you need an 'is after Lennon and in the last line a comma after died to add empahasis to the before you and get the metre back.

sad and lovely poem

take care my friend

david

x

PS more years ago than both I guess she and I care to remember and we were both very very very young I used to have an insurance round and Julie Rogers was one of my calls




roovacrag at 21:41 on 13 July 2004  Report this post
David.. Thank you, altered the last line on the 5th stanza. Hope it reads better.

Nearly 40 years since Julie Rogers recorded the wedding song.

Couldn't have been more perfect for my wedding.

Oh to be that young again.

Thank you my friend.
xxxAlice



gard at 01:19 on 18 July 2004  Report this post
Hi roovacrag

lovely sweet song of love and longing with a nice rhythm, would fit a tune well, fit on a hallmark card, fit at a wedding....all compliments!!

G








roovacrag at 18:28 on 21 July 2004  Report this post
Thanks Gard just seen your remark. xx al


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .