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I see the lions

by bogdantiganov 

Posted: 12 July 2004
Word Count: 128
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we went in
and it wasn't too frightening
because we were all in it
so I didn't even notice
the lions

we went in
laughing
sometimes
crying

I thought this was paradise

I took it for granted

I thought I deserved
some
happiness
I thought I had
happiness -
others said I was naive
and inexperienced -
I laughed at what I thought
petty

and then
they
disappeared

everybody

gone

and I saw the lions for the first time
I saw the lions I saw the lions for the first time it hit me it bludgeoned me it hammered destroyed me

I looked around me
and asked
doesn't anybody care?
but there was no audience
and there was no judge

there was me
and the lions devouring
me






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Comments by other Members



joanie at 20:41 on 12 July 2004  Report this post
Hi bogdan. I can feel for the writer here! I get a sense of life being lived, all friends together, 'Hail fellow, well met' sort of social scene, but...

...I keep coming back to 'you know who your friends are'....

I'm sure this must have been written as a result of a specific experience. When it really matters, who is right there with you??

I also get a sense of naivety. Was this a big learning experience? ........... or have I just misinterpreted it completely?

It made me think! I like the long line, without punctuation. I had to read it aloud.

joanie
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)

olebut at 19:43 on 13 July 2004  Report this post


Hi Bogdan et al

How profound although my first instinct if writing this would have to have used sharks, but I think lions work so much better very clever and poem I like very much

I think I would be tempted to remove the last two words ' devouring me' but add a 'just' before the me in what would become the penultimate line and then also make the other alterations as per so it reads, punctuation included.

there was just me,
alone, with the lions.


but I do like this poem
take care

david
Helpful (0) Made Me Think (0) Made Me Smile (0) Pure Genius (0)


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