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The Baby
Posted: 02 July 2004 Word Count: 25
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Sat curved Hard; lamp bitten Silence through glass Eye Twisting lips Melting words Why, I ask, Don’t you see The tears?
© John Greaney 2004
Comments by other Members
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sam kb at 20:46 on 02 July 2004
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I think this is so poignant -
yes! you convey a strong sad image
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roovacrag at 20:59 on 02 July 2004
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John G.
I feel a sad piece here.
Baby in incubater,you looking on trying to comunicate with life.
Am I wrong ?
Let me know.
xx Alice
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john g at 21:12 on 02 July 2004
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Firstly, Sam. You're the very first person to comment on my very first uploaded work, so it was nice to discover that the apprehension I felt before I read your remarks was unfounded. Thank you for you kind words.
Alice. Your interpretation was very interesting and something that had never occurred to me. It does sound like that a bit, doesn't it? If the truth be known, the poem was conceived whilst sitting in a greasy-spoon-style transport caff, watching a baby that had been left in a pram outside, its mother, cigarette in hand, deep in animated conversation with a mate, totally oblivious to her offspring's apparent distress, out in the cold.
There, I've spoilt it now, haven't I?
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roovacrag at 21:30 on 02 July 2004
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John, no you haven't spoilt it.It Happens.
Just sad to think, mother leaving a child, while she had a smoke with a man......
Poor kid.
xx Alice
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Okkervil at 10:29 on 03 July 2004
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I thought it was a plea to someone else on the baby's behalf... but that's sad! I don't know what to say. Marvellously written, succinct piece... at the end do you ask the mother, or is that in your head? 'Cos if it is unspoken, what does it say about us? I've seen some pretty mean mums on the bus and stayed quiet- it never seems any of our business.
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Lottie at 11:24 on 03 July 2004
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I think that this poem is very good and well written.
I took the last question as the speaker asking the question - the speaker being the *baby*.
Don't you just love it when poetry lets your imagination and thoughts go - I think the best poetry is when the writer/ speaker leaves it up to the reader to interpret.
Lottie :-)
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Tarbra at 11:28 on 05 November 2005
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How anyone could ignore a baby in destress is revolting, nice piece, how you didn't say something to this mother baffles me or did you? I would have as I am sure a lot of other mothers would have? I find myself wondering what happened to the baby after? It would make a good start to a book, you could then follow the baby into later life by imagining what its life was,( was it a girl or a boy?) after a start with an uncaring mother? You could really do something from this start that would make a good read, think about it, Linda
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