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In Me
Posted: 01 July 2004
Word Count: 49
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In Me
I am awake
It is with me
But I cannot see
I go out
It is there
But you cannot see
I work and play
It is there
But no one can see
I get angry and mad
It is here
Only I know
I have A.D.H.D.
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Comments by other Members
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 Fearless at 12:16 on 01 July 2004
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Mike
As I said before - a whisper into a scream. Powerful stuff.
Write on,
Fearless
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miffle at 23:46 on 01 July 2004
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Mike,
I like the way that throughout this poem you keep the name of 'it' / the thing that is bugging you at a distance... and yes there's a sense of an internal battle going on here... some kind of struggle, a struggle to stay one step ahead...
And the poem, yes, it reads like a riddle and the riddle propels it and gives it velocity: we want to know what the answer is and so, yes, it is perfect to save the answer until the last line...
And I like the idea of the riddle form here: i.e. you / the speaker seem/s as perplexed about the 'ADHD' as the people he / she meets... The poem enacts a kind of figuring out...
The change from 'It is there' to 'It is here' worked powerfully! On this line of thought wondered if you had thought of using the 'It is there' line in the first verse too ? How would that impact upon the last verse I wonder?
ADHD - actually I am surprised by your/ the speaker's experience here i.e. re. 'only I know' because in my experience other people would know... ? Or perhaps you mean 'only I know' in the sense of 'only I experience it' here ?
Just a few thoughts,
Kind regards,
Nikki
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 Nell at 08:44 on 02 July 2004
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Hi Mike,
This is deceptively simple, yet says so much not only about the narrator's feelings, but about A.D.H.D. itself, the isolation and separateness it can cause. It occurs throughout the poem like an invisble presence, yet remains invisble at the end, even though we finally know what haunts the speaker. That line 'I get angry and mad...' rings with a basic truth that is touching - it feels heartfelt - and there's no other way it could have been expressed so well. Although 'it' is 'with me' at the beginning, oddly 'it' seems to get closer with each stanza. By the end of the poem we're so much closer to understanding the feelings of sufferers. Good writing.
Nell.
<Added>
typo alert: invisible
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olebut at 20:00 on 03 July 2004
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What needs to be said has been an dI doubt I can add anymore other than stick in there a fine piece
david
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Tuppence at 08:03 on 02 February 2005
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a lovely piece bringing back memories of teaching youngsters with adhd
one was just himself
another doped up to the eyeballs
another i had to carry around with me
thank you
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