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When I love my lover....

by gard 

Posted: 29 June 2004
Word Count: 481
Summary: POsted this into this group. I am a bit tied up this week...I Read Roovacrags poem Kaleidoscope last week and remembered a poem I wrote a while ago with the same title (called it different title on the title page)!So inspired by RVGs lovely piece, I though I would post it. Its an old one, comments welcome! It has been published (only by forwardpress)

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When I love my lover,
I see love is red, like a scarlet flower, a Rhododendron or an English Rose in blush,
or the magenta cheeked parrot in a tropical bloom.
A hot pink mix, that enfolds us both in a crimson rush.

When I laugh with my love,
I see love is orange, a bright zesty shade full of fun and spark.
It connects us both with a citrus fizz.
A sweet tangy moment with a bite that's sharp.

When I wake each day with my love,
I see love is yellow, like the moon, or the Evening Primrose that blooms in June,
to ignite the summer flame for the prairie flowers to begin.
My love has a golden beam that carries me along,
it adds a turmeric spice as the day meets the dawn.

When I am uncertain of my love,
I see love is green,
in the way of an ivy,
the creeping jealousy, entwines my heart.
Like a plant in the deep emerald forest,
my soul is rooted in the remotest part.
My mind is enveloped by aquamarine, I am like a leaf,
that the autumn season tears apart.

When I am away from my love,
I see love is blue,
a mournful colour, overwhelming in hue.
An azure feeling I have when I am alone and subdued.
Like a lazuli icicle afloat in the deep Arctic sea.
And then there is the indigo of the bluebell in spring,
that unfolds a misty promise of things to come.

When I fight with my love,
I see love is black.
A dark anger that looms between us both.
It is filled with thunder, rain and lightening claps.
An omen is exposed, we are sullen and morose.
The day is blotted out from our clouded sight,
light turns into coal, a lunar-less pitch night.

When I look to the eyes of my love,
I see love is white, like ermine, or a winter snowdrop, pearl and serene.
Like a clear morning light,
Like the dew that hangs on the waxen skein,
of a taut wispy web,
a silken sacrifice, an organic weave, from a natural being.
So pure, saturated, intense, a vividly simple thing.

When I imagine losing my love,
I see love is grey, the colour that life would become.
I'd be bereft, all colour would be gone.
I would deaden into a dulled shell,
like the smokey memory after a heath-land burn,
all colours are destroyed as the earth turns to dust,
my leaden spirit empties into a void of loss.

When I think of my love,
I see love is a kaleidoscope, viewed.
With each twist it encompasses a different mood.
An ambience of shades, white, red, orange, yellow, green, blue.
And all the combinations and mixes in between too,
so many to experience, a permeation I consume.

What colour is your love to you?

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Comments by other Members

roovacrag at 06:59 on 30 June 2004  Report this post
Gard a beautiful piece of work. Well written and a joy to read.
Kaleidoscope is a good title for this.
Think we should change titles on here.
xx Alice

miffle at 10:41 on 30 June 2004  Report this post
Gard, I love the 'white' verse: enough for me just that one ;-) Mystical, free and peaceful... I like too the question at the end... Kind regards, Nikki


the 'citrus' verse reminded me of your 'love in sharp' poem which is one of my favourites of yours ;-)

Fearless at 18:00 on 30 June 2004  Report this post
Hey G

Like the rainbow of love. The rhythm kinda reminds me of Nikki Giovanni.

Write on, Fearless

Lawrenco at 22:38 on 30 June 2004  Report this post
Really nice polished piece.I enjoyed the natural use of colours used here .Full of meaning and depth a poem I would like to visit time and again.Good stuff.

gard at 00:37 on 01 July 2004  Report this post
roova, miffle, fearless, lawrenco

thank you!!!!


Have to look up Nikki Giovanno??

Ticonderoga at 16:49 on 05 July 2004  Report this post

Beautiful as ever; rich in colour, imagery and echo. Skilfully wrought.



James Graham at 15:15 on 11 July 2004  Report this post
A very engaging set of variations on a theme, song-like with its refrains at the beginning of each section. Some lines are rather flat, mainly because they're a little obvious, e.g. 'blue/a mournful colour, overwhelming in hue' or 'grey, the colour that life would become'. I couldn't resist cutting the 'grey' stanza to

When I imagine losing my love
I see love is grey, all colour gone,
like the smokey memory after a heathland burn...

But the poem has many more good lines than weak ones. The imagery is very good, e.g. the above quote, and 'turmeric spice', 'lazuli icicle', 'light turns to coal', the 'wispy web' image, the kaleidoscope. Some of the less visual lines strike me as very neatly expressed, e.g. 'my soul is rooted in the remotest part', or 'so pure, saturated, intense, a vividly simple thing' - this one in particular is an excellent abstract line, every word adding something different and the whole line presenting a complex and interesting reflection on the web.

I think when you write verse you need to be more aware of your strengths, and focus on them. From this poem, I'd say they lie in visual detail and imagery, and strong lines expressing abstract thought, like the one I just mentioned. You need to write a little more economically, being aware of what you can leave out.


gard at 12:03 on 14 July 2004  Report this post
Hi James

sorry I had not replied sooner. I have been busy. Thanks for your comments.

I like the idea of codensing the grey verse as you say, but then it would be too short for the other verses?

I should go through and crop some of this piece, I had not really done anything to it since I wrote it.


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