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KALEIDOSCOPE
Posted: 29 June 2004 Word Count: 99
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You trapped me in your kaleidoscope, rotating me at will, drawing me in your vortex of which you have great skill.
Eyes of raw sienna burnt umber flecks as well, colour reflected mirrors as I move under your spell.
The symmetrical patterns dancing round, my soul became all yours, trying to gain my sanity as passion surely soars.
I moved my body closer no will I have at all, lips just touching gently my mind I can't recall.
I give myself so willingly, my barriers are all gone, tonight my love I will be yours until the rising sun.
Comments by other Members
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joanie at 21:48 on 29 June 2004
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Mmmm, Alice.. kaleidoscope.. whirling shapes and colours. I loved those we bought as children. I LOVE the feeling you have created of inevitability, of being swept along willingly, just tumbling with the shapes... this is lovely.
joanie
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gard at 23:33 on 29 June 2004
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hi Alice
lovely romantic piece. I agree with Roovacrag..
Its funny I wrote a poem also called kaleidoscope a while ago. It was published ( only forwardpress..only place I submitted it). I may post it, its not that great
G
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roovacrag at 06:54 on 30 June 2004
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Gard thank you for your comments. Do post your piece and it must be good to get it published.
xx Alice
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gard at 16:14 on 30 June 2004
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Hi Roovacrag!
meant I agree with Joanie (not ""Roovacrag sorry..)!!!!!!!!!!!
well you know, no, not really, its not that great, needs work. Forwardpress like that style of poetry: mostly rhyming and kinda plain language -read by general people, not lofty intellectuals - no insults intended to anyone!
G
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roovacrag at 17:33 on 30 June 2004
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Gard already worked it out. thought i was 2 different people lol.
Still think its a great poem.
xx Al
<Added>
yours that is.
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Fearless at 17:47 on 30 June 2004
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Al
Drawn, sucked in, willingly, mysteriously, tumbling down, resting, anticipating, entwining....a very sensual piece.
Red hot mama!
Write on, Fearless
x
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roovacrag at 18:13 on 30 June 2004
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Woz thank you for your comment. Yes a dream lover.I wish i could find one.
Just a kaleidoscope on my palette.
Power of colour.
xxxxx Al
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Lawrenco at 19:39 on 30 June 2004
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Cor blimey got me all in a whirl.Vortex,kaleidiscope,passion,(once killed a donkey at mellar).The thing is that the next two poems after this one both have kaleidiscope in it.-how strange?
I did enjoy it.It`s like i`m trying to find out what your paintings look like through this.Are you abstract ,landspape,will I ever know?
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olebut at 19:56 on 30 June 2004
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Alice
great rhythm up to verse three at which point I think you lose it and then pick it up again in verse 4 I should look at 3 again and see if you can rework it and in the penultimate line I think you may have inserted an 'I' to many
otherwise a nice piece which does certainly conjure up great images
take care as always david xx
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roovacrag at 22:35 on 30 June 2004
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Lawrenco, love the southern....cor blimey.
thank you for your comments.
I paint mostly watercolour. Ask Woz he seen most.
Not that good but ok.
Like poetry ok.
xx Al
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