Login   Sign Up 



by Rai15 

Posted: 18 June 2004
Word Count: 198
Summary: 3rd poem; from "Whispers of a Mind" & "Beautiful Blue Eyes"
Related Works: Beautiful Blue Eyes • Whispers of a Mind • 

Font Size

Printable Version
Print Double spaced

She made breaking news
the world over, they stopped
the presses just for her -
front page headlines everywhere.
Some said she must be evil,
because she fell from grace,
others said she was just a hoax,
that the media was bored.

I walked through the woods and
the fields for days after the storm.
I walked alone, away from the
hoards that tracked her.
Through the crop field, away
from the hill, to a small group of
trees, where dog walkers go.
As I entered the trees, all was
quiet and so dark, cold, it was peaceful.
I turned left, taking myself
further away from the hill, deeper into
the trees, the dark, and the silence.
Something here made me feel
comfortable, happy,
something made me smile.

In a clearing, a sat amongst the leaves
to rest, covered in the warm sunlight.
I closed my eyes and laid back,
absorbing the wonder of the place.
Something made me open my eyes,
something cold, a shadow,
something blocking the sun.
As I opened my eyes, she stood
over me, studying me closely.
I asked her what her name was,
she understood me, she spoke
soft and calmly. Cary.

Favourite this work Favourite This Author

Comments by other Members

Nell at 12:44 on 21 June 2004  Report this post
Hi Rai,

I'm fascinated by the story of your angel, this is turning into a beautiful narrative with the potential to be an epic poem. I love your quiet voice in this - high-flying superlatives/metaphors/similes are unnecessary, and would lessen the impact. Will look forward to more.

A typo?
In a clearing, a sat amongst the leaves...

Rai15 at 21:25 on 21 June 2004  Report this post
Thanks a lot for your comments, I agree with your opinion on the narrative voice, I think that the image of the angel speaks for itself.

Havn't yet started the fourth poem, but I'm thinking about what will be in it.

Again, thanks,


To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .