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Cary

by Rai15 

Posted: 18 June 2004
Word Count: 198
Summary: 3rd poem; from "Whispers of a Mind" & "Beautiful Blue Eyes"
Related Works: Beautiful Blue Eyes • Whispers of a Mind • 

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She made breaking news
the world over, they stopped
the presses just for her -
front page headlines everywhere.
Some said she must be evil,
because she fell from grace,
others said she was just a hoax,
that the media was bored.

I walked through the woods and
the fields for days after the storm.
I walked alone, away from the
hoards that tracked her.
Through the crop field, away
from the hill, to a small group of
trees, where dog walkers go.
As I entered the trees, all was
quiet and so dark, cold, it was peaceful.
I turned left, taking myself
further away from the hill, deeper into
the trees, the dark, and the silence.
Something here made me feel
comfortable, happy,
something made me smile.

In a clearing, a sat amongst the leaves
to rest, covered in the warm sunlight.
I closed my eyes and laid back,
absorbing the wonder of the place.
Something made me open my eyes,
something cold, a shadow,
something blocking the sun.
As I opened my eyes, she stood
over me, studying me closely.
I asked her what her name was,
she understood me, she spoke
soft and calmly. Cary.






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Comments by other Members



Nell at 12:44 on 21 June 2004  Report this post
Hi Rai,

I'm fascinated by the story of your angel, this is turning into a beautiful narrative with the potential to be an epic poem. I love your quiet voice in this - high-flying superlatives/metaphors/similes are unnecessary, and would lessen the impact. Will look forward to more.

A typo?
In a clearing, a sat amongst the leaves...


Rai15 at 21:25 on 21 June 2004  Report this post
Thanks a lot for your comments, I agree with your opinion on the narrative voice, I think that the image of the angel speaks for itself.

Havn't yet started the fourth poem, but I'm thinking about what will be in it.

Again, thanks,

-Rai-


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