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little thoughts
Posted: 19 May 2003 Word Count: 159 Summary: a new entry for the 'baby' category on this site...
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sometimes you just cant help feeling annoyed you move your hands around to push it away but it just doesnt go some things surprise you sometimes by being in the wrong place including people
some things that were hard and cold before are still hard and cold today sometimes things you want are just beyond your reach
some things not all make a noise when they hit other things some things make a noise all by themselves some noises dont come from things and just arrive big in your head and make you blink
not all people give you a nice face when you give them one even your best some people feel like part of you and make your eyes open some things do that too
sometimes things just start again and you cant remember what happened before except it was dark
sometimes its nice to sit on a warm person sometimes you cant help closing your eyes
Comments by other Members
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Hilary Custance at 15:42 on 19 May 2003
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Agnieszka, this made me smile. I had to do a sudden babysitting with a friend's 2 year old the other day. We both passed through all the experiences so simply and accurately depicted by you. Why not turn it into a children's book - even a pop up action book? I can see the illustrations even as I write.
That was a mini-break. Back to my work, often as confusing as the infant's world. Cheers, Hilary
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Anna Reynolds at 15:01 on 24 May 2003
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Lovely. Quite a challenge writing from this perspective. Last 2 lines especially lovely- the image of the warm persons lap is beautiful. I think you've really caught the surprise and confusion of a baby's world- the big shapes and noises and where things come from, and it's very sensory- and funny.
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pene at 11:34 on 31 May 2003
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I have to agree with Anna, not much more I can add, I thought this was lovely!
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Lisa at 11:54 on 01 June 2003
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A charming poem - I particularly like the last two lines.
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LONGJON at 02:47 on 10 June 2003
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How easy it would be to subside into baby talk in writing a piece like this. You didn't, you portrayed the very young child as a sentient, curious, loving human being, well worthy of respect and consideration. Well done.
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James Graham at 16:04 on 14 June 2003
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Hi Agnieszka - I certainly agree with comments so far. This seems perfectly in tune with what babies are like and how they seem to respond to the world around them. Several lines also remind us that it's the same at any age - especially people not giving you a nice face when you give them your best. The last one that did that to me was at an airport check-in. And the things you want that are just beyond your reach - these obviously change with the years, and the literal 'reach' of the hand becomes something more complicated. The last two lines are perfect.
James.
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Agnieszka Ryk at 16:15 on 14 June 2003
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Thanks James and everyone for the nice comments. My own feeling is that this piece still has some way to go.
James you picked up exactly my intention that this would be a 'baby speaking universal truths' (to put it somewhat pretentiously)
I was also aiming to make all of it as cute as the last two lines, but I guess I've still got some work to do on it!
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olebut at 23:40 on 20 June 2003
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Agnieszka
I do love these lines I can relate so well to them
"some things make a noise all by themselves
some noises dont come from things and just arrive big in your head and make you blink
not all people give you a nice face when you give them one even your best"
Have you ever tried going around for a whole day just smiling at people and saying hello or good morning it is amazing the reaction you get .........
and the last two lines are very well crafted isnt it funny we have all experienced the image you are protraying but none of us can probably remeber what it was like
take care
David
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