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The Red Dress of a Passionate Woman
Posted: 17 May 2003
Word Count: 125
Summary: Inspired by the play "A Passionate Woman" by Kay Mellor, and my ladyfriend, who, in the interval of the play, told me about a red dress she used to wear when she was in her early twenties.
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I never saw the dress
the red dress
the dancing dress
the blonde wig
the fluttering false eyelashes
that turned you into Brigitte Bardot
a milk-bar age ago
The chiffon sleeves
the short skirt
the stiletto heels
the pointed shoes
that danced to Elvis tunes
electric flashing jukebox
Blue Suede Shoes
Blue Moons
Red dress
I wish I’d known you
and the girl inside
the girl who sparkled
the girl who jived
the girl who broke young men’s hearts
with a flash of Celtic eyes
the red dress flirting girl
My red dress girl
now breaking old men’s hearts
with your dress locked in an attic
and your blushing youth long gone
in spite of shoes with broken heels
you keep dancing
on
and
on
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Comments by other Members
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 becs at 17:08 on 18 May 2003
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I enjoyed this poem, especially the last stanza....I have nothing constructive to say except that I enjoyed it! It reminds me of a poem by Carol Ann Duffy, I think it's called "Before you were mine", it has the same slightly wistful but ultimately hopeful feel to it....OK, I'm no critic, I'll just stick with "I enjoyed it".
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 fevvers at 18:54 on 19 May 2003
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steve
I like th energy of this poem, like a jive itself. I wouldn't finish with the 'on and on' on separate lines because it puts too much weight on them, making the lively tone suddenly seem earnest, something which the lines haven't earned. I wasn't sure if there weren't too many red dresses, I think I would have liked to see flashes of fabric and slips of colour (like the energy implies) rather than the full dress each time. It's a good opening, but I wouldn't come straight in with the red dress in the next line, because the distance between that and the title is very little - or change the title. I love the duke-boxy list of the second verse. Is this an early draft?
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JeniR at 20:15 on 19 May 2003
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To me this poem allows the reader to think of something in their own past, something that can still bring a smile to their lips.
It captures time and I really enjoyed it. Thank you.
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olebut at 20:17 on 19 May 2003
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sadly it brings a tear to mine my ex wife wore a red dress at our wedding but yes it does evoke powerful memories
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JeniR at 20:20 on 19 May 2003
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That just goes to show how wonderful words can be, don't you agree?
One beautiful poem which causes people to be touched in different ways.
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olebut at 20:22 on 19 May 2003
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yes the great thing about this iste is the diversity of topics but equally the way that a similar topic can be illustrated in such diverse ways.
if you look on the forums section there is a topic about books and the big read which you may find interesting.
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llydstp at 11:57 on 20 May 2003
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Thank you all for your comments - much appreciated.
Fevvers: Thanks for all of the constructive stuff.
This is the final draft of the poem. Repeating the words red dress (5 times including the title) is intentional - a kind of hammering home of the point of the importance to me of how lovely my girl friend must have looked in it.
I'm glad you liked the juke-boxy list of the second verse. I, too, am very pleased with it; but when I read it for the first time after writing it, I couldn't help thinking that it was a bit too Willy Russell!
I want to leave the last three words exactly as they are, because I wanted a deliberate slowing down of the pace at that point to illustrate the timelessness of the dress wearer's optimism and beauty.
JeniR: I'm glad it captured time for you. I was hoping it would have that effect on the reader. And thank you for calling it a beautiful poem in your second comment.
Olebut: I am sorry that it caused you sadness, but selfishly I am pleased that it had the power to do that.
Thank you all once again.
Steve
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Bee at 12:43 on 20 May 2003
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I really like this piece. There's something about it that captures me, and I can't help but get the feeling of slight melancholy! It takes me back to a time I am unaware of.
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fevvers at 18:19 on 20 May 2003
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Hi Steve
Sorry, constructive feedback's my middle name - well actually I don't have a middle name, but you know what I mean.
I understand evrything you're telling me from the poem which means its working on that level. Except I've read it a few times now (silently & aloud) and I don't slow down that much at the end, but I probably would do if there was caesura (as opposed to line break) after the first 'on'. I can read it slow but my instinct isn't to.
I hope I didn't insult you by asking if was an early draft, it's just that it has that kind of raw energy that early drafts have, which is an energy I like.
The more I read it, the more I like the address to the dress in the third verse. It makes me wonder how the dress would respond.
cheers muchly
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poemsgalore at 18:48 on 23 May 2003
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So many emotions washed over me as I read this poem, memories of my own mis-spent youth (although no red dress). It also makes me look at older people and realise that they have memories of youth too, thanks for sharing it with us.
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Lisa at 13:11 on 31 May 2003
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Strangley haunting in a lively way - hard to describe but I really liked it. Maybe it's because of the "Red dress weaer" in me?!?!?!
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Ellenna at 09:35 on 16 June 2003
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I love this poem because despite ageing and memories there is something which is not transient which holds this all together... and that is like a lasting glue...quite simply its love!
Ellenna
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llydstp at 10:39 on 16 June 2003
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A sincere thank you to all of you who have recently commented so generously on my poem.
Steve
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Bobo at 17:45 on 18 June 2003
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A wonderful poem. I especially liked the tempo; I could almost see the dress dancing, swirling, as the poem progressed. And such an infusion of love and a sense of that love now stronger and more sturdy ( for want of another word! ) than ever. Superb. Very nearly made me cry.
Lisa.
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Fearless at 18:33 on 04 March 2004
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Steve
This poem is, to me, a passionately private reminder of one who I will forever associate with red. A unique colour with a vibrancy all its own.
fearless
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