CindeRossel
by Ross
Posted: 06 June 2004 Word Count: 754 Summary: The Story of CindeRossel is a parody of Cinderella, written by yours truly, based on one crazy Home Ec class. |
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Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a gentleman who was cheating on his old hag of a wife, and his odd son Rossel. The gentleman was a kind and devoted father and thinking Rossel needed some discipline, he married again, choosing for his wife a woman who had three daughters, Jaquiella, Mariaella and Courtneyella. The parents soon died and the step-sister's true nature was revealed. They gave Rossel old rags to wear and all the homework to do. Soon everyone called him CinderRossel because he got covered in cinders from cleaning the fireplace. But CinderRossel had many friends: Tyler, the human with a quasi-canine brain, after an unfortunate biking accident, who also had a hole in his head that made a cheery bottle like note when the wind hit it in the right spot; Stewart, the old horse (hereby referred to as Smelly Old Goat), and the mice. Two of his favourites were Dumb and Dumberer.
In another part of the kingdom, the King was getting worried that his daughter, the princess, wouldn't find a suitable man. He decided to have a royal ball and invite all the men in the kingdom to encourage the princess to find a husband. "Every man in the kingdom is invited to a ball in honour of the prince." said Courtneyella. “That is, except for Old Smelly Goat." CinderRossel was excited! That meant he could go too! The step-sister's agreed, but only if he finished all his chores and had something suitable to wear.
CinderRossel had hoped to fix up his old platform shoes and John Lennon glasses to wear to the ball but her step-sisters kept her so busy that when it was time to go, his groovy duds weren't ready. But the loyal and partially stoned mice had a surprise for him! They had managed to fix the groovy duds for him themselves, but it looked real crappy, because Tyler had done most of the work, and since he had a canine brain, he had no depth perception, couldn’t use a sewing machine, and, even though he would never admit it, he was also a little blind. The step-sisters shrieked when they saw CinderRossel.
"What have you done?" "Lasagne!" They soon tore his groovy duds to shreds and left.
CinderRossel ran into the garden and wept. Suddenly he heard a voice.
"Come now, you damn stoner, you can't go to the ball looking like that!" CinderRossel gasped. "Are you my..." "Fairy godmother" the woman replied pulling her magic wand out of thin air. With a sprinkle of magic, a pumpkin transformed into a Bentley, the mice turned into drivers, the horse literally became a smelly old goat and Tyler became a footman. Finally she transformed his rags into some groovy duds. On her feet were massive platform shoes.
"Now remember", the Fairy godmother said, "You must return before midnight. That's when the spell will be broken and everything will be as before." CinderRossel promised and went off into the Bentley and drove away to the ball.
When CinderRossel arrived, the Princess caught sight of him immediately. She walked over to him and asked him to dance. They discoed off across the dance floor. They never left each other's side and discoed every disco dance together. And then CinderRossel heard the platform shoe crack. "It's busted! I must go!" he said. The Princess ran after his. In his haste, CinderRossel lost one of his platform shoes but did not have time to pick it up. He leapt into the waiting Bentley. As soon as the Bentley passed the gates, the spell was broken. But a Platform Shoe remained on his foot. They all hurried home.
The next day, the step-sisters told CinderRossel that the grand dude was coming to see them. She was searching for the man who fits the Platform Shoe. And whoever he is he would marry the Princess! CinderRossel was humming the very disco that was playing at the ball. The step-sisters got suspicious and locked him up in his room. But Dumb and Dumberer had a plan to help CinderRossel. They got hold of the key, snuck it upstairs and unlocked the door. CinderRossel rushed down the stairs. "Your grace, may I try on the platform shoe?" he asked. And, of course, it didn’t fit. Just then, Old Smelly Goat walked in the door and stepped into the shoe. It was a perfect fit. Soon after, Smelly Old Goat and the Princess were married and lived happily ever after.
In another part of the kingdom, the King was getting worried that his daughter, the princess, wouldn't find a suitable man. He decided to have a royal ball and invite all the men in the kingdom to encourage the princess to find a husband. "Every man in the kingdom is invited to a ball in honour of the prince." said Courtneyella. “That is, except for Old Smelly Goat." CinderRossel was excited! That meant he could go too! The step-sister's agreed, but only if he finished all his chores and had something suitable to wear.
CinderRossel had hoped to fix up his old platform shoes and John Lennon glasses to wear to the ball but her step-sisters kept her so busy that when it was time to go, his groovy duds weren't ready. But the loyal and partially stoned mice had a surprise for him! They had managed to fix the groovy duds for him themselves, but it looked real crappy, because Tyler had done most of the work, and since he had a canine brain, he had no depth perception, couldn’t use a sewing machine, and, even though he would never admit it, he was also a little blind. The step-sisters shrieked when they saw CinderRossel.
"What have you done?" "Lasagne!" They soon tore his groovy duds to shreds and left.
CinderRossel ran into the garden and wept. Suddenly he heard a voice.
"Come now, you damn stoner, you can't go to the ball looking like that!" CinderRossel gasped. "Are you my..." "Fairy godmother" the woman replied pulling her magic wand out of thin air. With a sprinkle of magic, a pumpkin transformed into a Bentley, the mice turned into drivers, the horse literally became a smelly old goat and Tyler became a footman. Finally she transformed his rags into some groovy duds. On her feet were massive platform shoes.
"Now remember", the Fairy godmother said, "You must return before midnight. That's when the spell will be broken and everything will be as before." CinderRossel promised and went off into the Bentley and drove away to the ball.
When CinderRossel arrived, the Princess caught sight of him immediately. She walked over to him and asked him to dance. They discoed off across the dance floor. They never left each other's side and discoed every disco dance together. And then CinderRossel heard the platform shoe crack. "It's busted! I must go!" he said. The Princess ran after his. In his haste, CinderRossel lost one of his platform shoes but did not have time to pick it up. He leapt into the waiting Bentley. As soon as the Bentley passed the gates, the spell was broken. But a Platform Shoe remained on his foot. They all hurried home.
The next day, the step-sisters told CinderRossel that the grand dude was coming to see them. She was searching for the man who fits the Platform Shoe. And whoever he is he would marry the Princess! CinderRossel was humming the very disco that was playing at the ball. The step-sisters got suspicious and locked him up in his room. But Dumb and Dumberer had a plan to help CinderRossel. They got hold of the key, snuck it upstairs and unlocked the door. CinderRossel rushed down the stairs. "Your grace, may I try on the platform shoe?" he asked. And, of course, it didn’t fit. Just then, Old Smelly Goat walked in the door and stepped into the shoe. It was a perfect fit. Soon after, Smelly Old Goat and the Princess were married and lived happily ever after.
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