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The Poacher
Posted: 04 June 2004
Word Count: 138
Summary: A lighter poem from my younger days.
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The Poacher
Oh! Fair-feathered pheasant perched high in the tree
Show yourself, make a morsel for me
A family to feed a babe in arms
Shall I woo you out with my gunpowder charms?
You rabbit, grouse, you hare and deer,
Come play with me you have nothing to fear
Stealthily now I have you in sight
Supper is mine in the still of the night
Away she goes with a leap and a bound
Then falls in turn with the night's only sound
Eureka! This night has been good to me
One life has been taken to supplement three
The night's nearly over its time to retreat
With my heart full of pride and my sackful of meat
Make way at the fire it wont now be long
Till we’re filling ourselves with food and a song
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Comments by other Members
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 miffle at 12:57 on 04 June 2004
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Fun piece! Loved many lines especially:
'one life has been taken to supplement three'
A few thoughts:
* 3rd line: think you need some kind of punctuation between the two ideas
* 5th line: how would -
'You rabbit! You grouse! You hare! You deer!'
sound (?) Or something similar (?) I think this would embody the idea of the challenge, call to arms that I hear here and also make the rhythm stronger (?)
NB if you wanted to suggest a challenge to ONE rabbit/ grouse etc as opposed to to their KIND then you could always capitalise Rabbit/ Grouse etc as if you had seen them / heard them already hiding in the undergrowth, twigs etc
* 'with a leap and a bound' - I mapped this idea on to the pheasant you address at the beginning but it seems more in keeping with a deer (?) Just a thought -
* typo: night's only sound / night's nearly over
* 'won't be long' - perhaps lift 'now' (?)
Enjoyed it! People poach salmon here - a different story and landscape all together.
All the best, Nikki :-)
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PaulAnthony at 13:06 on 04 June 2004
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Thanks Nikki.
Wrote it as a dated piece when poachers really had no alternative. Glad you enjoyed it in the spirit it was written. For fun.
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roovacrag at 15:07 on 04 June 2004
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Paulanthony
I remember the poachers years ago.
Caught and captured to feed the family or pay the Doctors bill.(YES, MY GRANDFATHER HAD MANY POACHED FOOD JUST TO PAY HIS BILL)
Great one, brought a few memory back.
xx Alice
<Added>
My grandfather was a chemist who patients had to get medicine from.
Only way to pay the bill.
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PaulAnthony at 15:35 on 04 June 2004
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Alice
Exactly the kind of memories I wanted it to evoke.
Venison for benilyn
Now theres a rhyme
Many thanks
Paul
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roovacrag at 15:57 on 04 June 2004
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Paul.
Cellar was full of rabbits,venison,etc.
Grandad gave the medicine first. He didn't care if he got paid. He knew the poor and helped them.
Pity today don't do the same.
Hope i do.
xx Al
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Ling Ling at 16:48 on 04 June 2004
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I enjoyed reading this very much, reminded me of my ex-husband who was, and probably still is a poacher in the village I used to live in. I recall him leaving late evening with his rifle and a torch to spot the Pheasants up in the trees where they would rest. The imagery of this is powerful and I salute you! Ling Ling.
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Fearless at 22:08 on 04 June 2004
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Paul
A very good lyric with imagery, rhythm and feeling evenly matched. A story in four stanzas. Suits you mate.
Woz
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