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The Aroma Of Life

by poemsgalore 

Posted: 27 May 2004
Word Count: 164
Summary: Walking along the street, a girl passed by and all I could smell was fabric softener on her clothes, that started it all off.


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The Aroma Of Life

Her cotton, floral skirt
and fresh white blouse
smelled of Lenor.
With eyes closed
she imagined wild flowers, summer meadows.
Outside, her head spun
from fumes of petrol.
She stepped carefully
to avoid what thoughtless dog walkers
had carelessly left,
her nose wrinkled as the flies buzzed.
The florist -
an oasis in a desert of disgusting odours.
She bent eagerly over a large tub of Sweet William -
her favourite flower.
Why can't the whole world smell like this?
She sought out the bakery
where soft bread rolls
tempted her from their cooling trays.
She bought a dozen,
carried them close to her,
breathing in their yeastiness.
She stopped at the coffee shop,
ordered a dark, rich Expresso.
Not for her the Skinny Latte or Cappuchino
beloved of the fashionable
whose long, pinched noses
never allowed entry
to the sensuality
of a full flavoured coffee bean.
Her journey, like her life;
devoted to beauty;
to glorious aromas;
to pleasure.






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Comments by other Members



roovacrag at 18:42 on 27 May 2004  Report this post
Kathleen,great one.
Made me smile the line ..thoughtless dog walkers.
Owning a dog I too agree with this line.

Well written as always and true to everyday life.

Can almost see the young girl walking and yes smell lenor on her clothes,which she cares for.
Well done.
xx Alice

joanie at 19:52 on 27 May 2004  Report this post
Lovely, Kathleen, really sensuous. Smells are the most evocative thing, aren't they? One whiff and you are instantly transported back to holidays, childhood, hospital, washdays.... the list is endless. I was thinking very recently, as I brought in my washing, that it smells so GOOD, dried outside rather in the tumble dryer of winter. Beautiful.
joanie

engldolph at 10:52 on 28 May 2004  Report this post
Hi
I liked the airy fresh feeling of this and the sense of walking along with the person in the poem.

Some really nice lines like:

she imagined wild flowers, summer meadows.

her nose wrinkled as the flies buzzed.

Why can't the whole world smell like this?(liked that one particularly)

She bought a dozen,
carried them close to her,
(strong image of her love of sensual smell and feeling)

whose long, pinched noses
never allowed entry

To strengthen it's impact, I think you need to edit down some ...perhaps cut out the more everyday explanations like:

- to avoid what thoughtless dog walkers
had carelessly left,

- She bent eagerly over a large tub of Sweet William -

- Not for her the Skinny Latte or Cappuchino

- Her journey, like her life;

I think these hide your strong lines..and there are plenty!

Mike







gard at 22:24 on 30 May 2004  Report this post
Hi poemsG

nice piece with some strong imagery. I agree with all of the above and also think EG may have a point in that a slight edit of excess words would bring out more of the strength (pardon the pun) of this piece.

Loved the bread and coffee and all the odours you imply ( except the doggy ones ha ha)

G

poemsgalore at 18:41 on 04 June 2004  Report this post
Many thanks for your comments, it's sometimes difficult to convey what you mean without using too many words and while I take on board the suggestion to edit, I feel something of my original meaning might be lost if I do.


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