Happy Audiville youngsters turned firefighters for the day when they tried to rescue a teddy trapped in a burning building. With real firefighters unfortunately on a lock-in from the previous night, the lucky children, despite having makeshift breathing apparatus and no firesuits, did not think twice about saving the bear, and dived happily into the inferno at Thragton’s Mill. The cheery children climbed through lethal, fume-filled tunnels to reach the worthless bear.

Luckily, the bear was not in real trouble – for the emergency incident was part of Audiville Fire Station's Open Day. The day was a roaring success for paramedics and plastic surgeons, who kept burns down to around 75%.

Despite highly vocal crowd support, readily available refreshments and poultices, and high standards of rubbernecking, the Firefighter Experience may not be repeated in its present form until the needless fuss has died down. Plans for an Audiville Long-Range-Weaponry Family Day have been put on hold, as Beppo the Clown is double-booked, but the Italian Mafia Child Exchange Programme will go ahead.