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GOODBYE

by roovacrag 

Posted: 18 May 2004
Word Count: 52
Summary: For Woz/Fearless
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Is this your last goodbye?
Or will there be a tomorrow?
Closing down friends you made,
I hope there will be no sorrow.

You gave hope and faith
to one and all,
helped them through their strife;
let's hope your going away has given strength
to all who came into your life.






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Comments by other Members



gard at 00:55 on 19 May 2004  Report this post
hi RG

nice little rhyming sentimental poem - sell it to Hallmark? I can just see me for example picking this off the shelf to send to a close friend...

G
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miffle at 16:57 on 19 May 2004  Report this post
Alice, You have 4 lines and a rhyme in the first verse so part of me wonders how the poem might work if you were to echo this structure in the second ?

i.e. something like:

'You gave hope and faith to one and all
and helped them through their strife;
So let us hope you've given strength
to those who came into your life...'

?

I think perhaps this gives the poem more balance (?) or perhaps it now reads too 'sing-songy' (?)... Just a thought. Oh and did you mean that his 'going away' had given the strength i.e. as opposed to his 'being here'? i.e. hence me taking liberties in the verse above... !

Last goodbye?! Well, now - who knows!? 'Seems sad to me for sure... 'closing down friends' - good phrase - friends they're not two a'penny / going cheap... :-)

All the best, Nikki :-)








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tinyclanger at 20:37 on 19 May 2004  Report this post
Nice one Alice. Enough said, I think...
;-)
x
tc
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roovacrag at 21:13 on 19 May 2004  Report this post
Thank you all for comments.

Gard.
Like you,i always read the verse before sending a card.
Thank you for this.

Nikki.
I never write singy songy about people i am very close to.
This is a very close friend.
So will leave it as it is.

TC.
Yes you agree with me it is right.

xx Alice
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miffle at 21:55 on 19 May 2004  Report this post
Alice, it was just an idea. And I knew that! Miffle
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