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by BorderBound 

Posted: 15 May 2004
Word Count: 306
Summary: i literally just sat down and the words came gushing

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Content Warning
This piece and/or subsequent comments may contain strong language.

Not one room in this house can devour the ache I feel
Not one cold call can sink me any lover then I have fallen
And just as that,
A million smiles and handshakes
Promises they promise never to break
Could lift me
And make all this hurt worthwhile.

Knives that I collected
Now sit back,
Underneath the kitchen sink where they belonged.
Calling me.

I feel like I deserve to be in pain.
When I close my eyes
And slip my finger
Into my hole
Where just as any other slot
They threw pennies.
When I close my eyes
I cut my self
Open my hole myself.

Fuck myself with metal
Stinging the outside
Makes the inside unnoticed
But still both sides are ugly.

Words that spit
From my mouth to my reflection
I stick one finger inside me
And scribble in blood
‘I’m across the shadow’
across the walls

Opposite my bed.
Tilt me head
Stare at things from a different angle
I dream of rape
Nothing can be worse
Then when I rape myself
Commit myself
I’m fucking crazy

Fucking lazy
Never move all day
Just sit in bed
With this burning in my head
Craving for piece of mind
As they tell me there’s SO MUCH FUCKING TIME LEFT

Leave me be
I’m empty.
I’m only alive
Because I know you’ll miss me

I cut myself
Fuck myself with metal
Blood inside
Streams outside
All over my pillow

And she’ll knock on the door
Wake up
Shake up
There’s some much fucking time left…

But I’m already gone.
The darkness I’ve seen turns to white.
The knives in the kitchen stop calling.
I’m flying
Gliding through the clouds.
Looking down as my mother enters the room

Oh my fucking God
You had so much fucking time left…

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Comments by other Members

roovacrag at 22:18 on 15 May 2004  Report this post
This is one fantastic piece.
I was gob smacked by it.

I know what you meen when you say i sat down and the words gush out.
Thats how i write.
I never alter a word,what you see ,is what i write.

Great work,enjoyed every word.
Well done
xx al

The Walrus at 08:59 on 17 May 2004  Report this post
Wow - powerful stuff! I think sometimes sitting down and just letting it 'gush' straight from the subconcious without any conscious interference can produce something quite amazing.

It also takes courage to write like this. True, it's a painful poem - but it certainly caught my attention and I was gripped throughout.

Well done.

The Walrus

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