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by Epona Love 

Posted: 14 May 2004
Word Count: 101

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She cries for me, and I can hear her call.
Beyond the mists, beyond the dreaming haze.
Sad whisperings of truth, a voice so small,
So lost without the warmth of those lost days.

I hear the sighs; I hear the agony,
But what can I now do to comfort her?
The distance is immense to one like me,
Who has no wings to fly or words to offer.

I am a cloud, a wisp, a whim, a breeze.
An aching, or a burning memory.
I am the wreck brought lifeless from the seas,
I am the star of no-ones destiny.

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Comments by other Members

Fearless at 21:34 on 14 May 2004  Report this post
Very, very good.


gard at 00:42 on 15 May 2004  Report this post

what a lovely rhythm this piece has, and I really like the beginning of the last stanza, which indeed reminds me of something flowing and skipping along like a breeze.


Ticonderoga at 16:07 on 18 July 2004  Report this post
Deliciously enigmatic; all sorts of possibilities echo in the reader's mind; keep scribbling!



paul53 [for I am he] at 08:51 on 30 April 2005  Report this post
A late find thanks to Random Read. A little jewel here, marred only by an extra syllable in line 8 that interrupts the flow. Nevertheless, this is a very good piece with strong opening and closing lines that could be polished into something brilliant.

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