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A Twist in a Days Propriety.

by Lawrenco 

Posted: 07 May 2004
Word Count: 94
Summary: After Robert Frost.

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They grow trees these days,cuts and prunes,so
people can`t climb them.
The ordinary lofty adventure struck off;in case of misdemeanor ,they couldn`t be anything more obscener.

At the bottom of the tree,a money idol held the ball and
waited to give it back to the correct people.
I couldn`t help notice,his flaunting,dubious,notorieties.

Acting a part please disembark and give me back my ball.
His false haul of importance.
Standing with his pristine design.
agressing against those that he thinks don`t define.
Keep the ball,it`s like you fall of air.
Well I am being fair!

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Comments by other Members

Nell at 08:33 on 09 May 2004  Report this post
Lawrenco, it's early on Sunday morning, and you're making my brain work too hard! The ordinary lofty adventure struck off... the lopped branches - yes, obscene is the right word for what they do to town centre trees; ...his flaunting,dubious,notorieties... this is difficult to get my head around, I can see the man beneath the tree, notorious to the children as a ranter perhaps (thus flaunting), dubious - his notorieties are dubious? (yet flaunting at the same time). Disembark seems a strange choice of word if he's standing beneath the tree, yet I can see the character you describe ...with his pristine design... although I'm unsure about ...it's like you fall of air... Lots to think about here.


gard at 17:38 on 09 May 2004  Report this post
Hi Lawrence

interesting piece, yes see that the cropping of trees into the most peculiar of shapes to fit in with the ugly telephone wires, roads etc and so on. We used to climb trees when we were young too.

Is this a real event? I took it that you were up the tree retrieving a ball?

I took the noteriety to be his status, self importance?

Lawrenco at 20:30 on 09 May 2004  Report this post
Nell, Your wonderful but,please look at the poem later it will make better sence then,if I doesn`t give me another posting and i`ll reply to it.

A nice cup of Indian Prince!(tea that is.

Nell at 20:38 on 09 May 2004  Report this post
Lawrenco, it's not that I don't understand what's happening - I do - it's just that you made me work hard!

Lawrenco at 20:44 on 09 May 2004  Report this post
OK. Nell no worries ,its true
Robert would have used simpler words .But I hope you like it anyway.

Lawrenco at 20:56 on 09 May 2004  Report this post
Hi Gina, well the event is efectivly a psychodrama.The ball represents ,the conflict,it`s made out of leather "matter" and air "gaseous",replacing "fire" and "ice".No it isn`t a real event ,but it is a subconsious event,with its heavy symbolism.
Yes you were right about the status thing.

Nell at 21:01 on 09 May 2004  Report this post
Lawrenco, I'm intrigued by the freedom you allow yourself in your poetry, it's very confident, and creative in an almost abstract way, like some modern art. It's true, I'm unsure of this one, but the way you write can (and does) produce unexpected and surprising results that more inhibited writers (like yours truly) would never achieve. So write on, and more power to your typing fingers!


gard at 21:37 on 09 May 2004  Report this post
Hi lawrenco

yes I had gathered when I thought about it the ball was a symbol, as it was designed to be after Frost. The ball is an interesting symbol. Its funny, I don't know if you have been on any of these "trust" training things. They make you play ball... the ball is what? The person in this case? Handing over ones self to another, pretty much like poetry I suppose....

Incidentally I caught a rhythm in this piece, a bit like rap (nut the sytle is not called that, I forget right now), I think this is a good piece for that style.


Lawrenco at 23:18 on 09 May 2004  Report this post
Gina,No I havent been to "trust meetings".Balls are highly represented in society. The Football,billions of pounds spent a year ,just to kick a ball about.
As a child if your balloon pops or it flies of it always causes an emotion.
The other day I was by the river there was some swamp ground with trees ,I spotted an unusual object from a distance it looked spooky I got close up;someone beat me to it and picked up the object a balloon!
I jokingly said "thats my balloon"!He didn`t give it to me .I asked him what it said on the balloon he said "congadulations".(that is a true story).


oops "congradulations"

Lawrenco at 23:30 on 09 May 2004  Report this post
Thankyou and I am very happy that you see this in my work it is always an honour ,hopefully humbled ,I don`t want to lose my head!
I have been thinking about the style I do:The way I see myself is with my student brushes as it were,I try to convey a intuitve-instinctive-populism .
Please Nell you flatter me with your humility.

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