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Shaquilla`s Thoughts from `Shaquilla`s Papers`

by Jibunnessa 

Posted: 03 February 2003
Word Count: 508
Summary: Thoughts running through the mind of the main narrator of my novel, 'Shaquilla's Papers'. This may or may not appear in the final finished work.


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What would happen if you took a rose, plucked out all its petals and tossed them into the air, just as a gentle breeze blew by and carried them away? Would a single petal land on a gorse bush somewhere? A tiny pink island in a sea of prickly green and vibrant yellow! Would it feel at home? Or stranded? Will the gorse flowers accept this flat petal? Or forever comment on the lack of neck and the lack of mouth and the lack of lip? A 2-D creature lost in a 3-D world! Unable to leave because there’s nowhere to leave to. Unable to stay because there’s nothing to stay for.

And what about all its brothers and sisters? The other petals. Would they land on a shallow puddle to be ground into the dirty water and soil beneath by the heels of children’s Wellington boots as they hurried to school? Already late as an overturned strawberry van caused a mighty traffic jam that morning, scattering several tonnes of strawberries across the Finchley Road. Rain and squashed strawberries causing many cars to skid uncontrollably and collide. All that squashed red fruit creating a massive tailback. A two-mile long jam in a river of strawberry jam!

Or may be one would float away so far and land in someone’s noodle soup as they sat eating outside in a Hong Kong street market. Totally unaware of the tiny trace of unintended aroma that had drifted in uninvited. An illegal alien. An illegal alien meeting its sudden death. Instantly killed. Instantly consumed.

Or it could be that they would all just float into the neighbours’ garden. One or two toying saucily with Brenda’s bluebells, some mingling with the apple blossoms, and some just landing between the cabbage patches to be eaten by confused slugs. Or just decompose. Decay. Disappear.

What would happen if you tossed me into the air? Would you need to pluck me first? Would my eyeballs drift away with the ocean currents to be picked up by children collecting crabs in Madagascar? Would they explode them on hot stones? Just for fun. Or smash them onto the ground to see all the liquid run out? Or perhaps they would never get there. Instead be swallowed up by sharks off the coast of South Africa. And what about the rest of my body? Bloated and swollen. Would cleaner wrasses still be interested in a dead woman’s teeth? Would barnacles attach to my breasts? And manta rays take fragments of my fraying flesh? Would my discarded skeleton then fall to the bottom and form the foundations of a new coral colony? Which later grew to be a reef. Would they call it the Shaquilla Reef or would it take on the name of the nearest country or the nearest seashore town? Or may be my body would be nothing new. Just another ghost in a reef full of ghosts!



---Jib, 7.55am, Tue 04 Sept 01, sat on my hotel bed in Taihuay, Wutaishan, China. Narrator: Shaquilla. From: ‘Shaquilla’s Papers’






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Comments by other Members



Richard Brown at 17:19 on 03 February 2003  Report this post
I hope that you do use this piece in the finished work! It is very powerful -in me it generated a strong feeling of alienation but there is a sense of energy (identity, even) circulating so that the overall effect is positive. Similarly, though much of the rich imagery is bleak I don't find it in any way depressing. I suppose it's animistic - the idea of petals having feelings and the like - but the link to the 'distributing body' idea is made very effective by this device. Overall, I am left with an impression of opulence of imagery and ideas which promises very well indeed for the complete work. Excellent stuff!
Richard.


giles at 12:08 on 29 April 2003  Report this post
Jib,
When I saw the title Shaquilla's Papers I immediately thought of the Pentagon Papers, the documents leaked to the press by Daniel Ellsberg during Vietnam that helped bring Nixon down. So I was thinking of something political, based on documented fact. So this also was a surprise, but a very nice one because I seem to spend a lot of my time thinking "what if?" On the other hand Shaquilla takes this to a new level (I'm referring to the transition from petals to body parts) and so now I'm wondering about her. What's she thinking? Will she disappear without a trace or will her name be remembered somehow, even if her destiny is way beyond her control? Perhaps that's what she's thinking.

Hold on, I'm going to read it once more...

Yes, what I like is the playfulness that comes with it, I mean although it's a little morbid in places it's not like she's down in the depths of despair like a Poe. It's just the imagination unleashed, and I almost wish she would push the boundaries a little further. I mean I would love to hear about how the petal landing in someone's soup at the Hong Kong market set X in motion (what would X be? the bitter argument that ended their marriage? Passionate lovemaking in the back of a bookshop?). But that's only me, you know how I like the absurd!

I like it Jib! You have a refreshing style. Put some more up for us to enjoy!

Giles







Jibunnessa at 12:29 on 29 April 2003  Report this post
Glad you found it refreshing and thought-provoking. I will put up some more soonish. However, Shaquilla herself isn't the only narrator. Some bits are narrated by Matthew and others by Uma. Getting the different voices distinct is difficult and may be I've failed miserably. When I've put them up, I'd be interested to hear what you think.

roger at 13:15 on 29 April 2003  Report this post
Hey Jib, you don't half do the deep stuff sooooo well. Where do your ideas come from? I've discussed before with you such concepts as bananas, now we have this and I'm bemused yet again. Had someone asked me to write (seriously) about 'plucking rose petals and tossing them in the air', I'd have proffered a funny look and left. But you can do it, have done it, and for a purpose, you achieved something with it. I'm so envious that you can do these things....you're so bloody deep (and clever)!

Tell you what, aswell, you only mentioned Brenda once, but I found myself wondering who she was. How d'you achieve that with just one brief mention?

Jibunnessa at 13:22 on 29 April 2003  Report this post
Ahhh, I'm chuffed Rog. Thanks for the nice accolade.

As for Brenda... Don't you remember the 'Bananas Became Bats' lady?

jester at 18:59 on 14 May 2003  Report this post
HI,

Obviously, journaling is very successful for you! I can see this (with some pruning)as a beginning to a memoir piece: a sort of Bridget Jones Diary meets David Copperfield ;-)

Very interesting piece; lovely prose.

Cheers,
Jeri


Jibunnessa at 23:00 on 14 May 2003  Report this post
Hi Jeri,

Thanks for your positive comments. I'm glad you found the piece interesting and that you like my prose.

It's actually thoughts running through Shaquilla's mind (she's the main narrator of my novel). As mentioned above, I may or may not use it in the actual final novel.

Anyway Jeri, I'm a bit confused about your first paragraph though. I never thought of this piece in relation to Bridget Jones or David Copperfield. Perhaps I've missed something? I'd really appreciate it if you can show me the angle that you're coming from. It's always useful to get a different perspective.

Anyway, cheers
---Jib

jester at 02:52 on 20 May 2003  Report this post
OK. Bridget Jones in the sense of a commentary/meditation -type piece, and David Copperfield as a coming of age/life story sort of thing. Forgive me for thinking out loud and in pitch format. I've been pitching a lot these days and everyone (read agents) thinks in terms of the "Hollywood pitch". You know, like Jaws meets Winnie-the-Pooh; Animal House meets Shakespeare in Love...(wouldn't those be interesting?) ;-)

Cheers,
Jeri

Nell at 21:27 on 17 July 2003  Report this post
Marvellously inventive stream of consciousness almost - a very different voice from Matt and Uma. I'm enjoying your work so much and wanted to save it to read all at once, yet each piece could equally well be read and appreciated in isolation from the others. I hope you do use this the finished novel.

Best, Nell.

Jibunnessa at 19:46 on 20 July 2003  Report this post
Thank you so much Nell for commenting about my work with such enthusiasm. I'm so glad you're enjoying my stuff.

Cheers,
---Jib

kmerignac at 17:46 on 22 August 2003  Report this post
Jib,
I really like this piece. Very poetic and evokes lovely images. Opens the mind to all sorts of deeper meanings too. Perfect.
Yours, Kate.

Jibunnessa at 17:53 on 22 August 2003  Report this post
Cheers Kate. Glad you like it.

kmerignac at 18:02 on 22 August 2003  Report this post
God that was quick!


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