Login   Sign Up 



by Lawrenco 

Posted: 28 April 2004
Word Count: 137
Summary: Yea,O.K so then I woke up dooh!Shouldn`t of left that scented candle alight all night .Anyone who can pin point "Pop Idols" in this poem I will send them a gobstopper with a personal message of congradulations ,finished with hopefully smelly varnish. Please send S.A.E.(Product not suitable for human consumption)

Font Size

Printable Version
Print Double spaced

The bourgeious puppy dolls,
perform in front of the fried obese balls.
Drool on hunger to pain,to fill time soon.
Swooned by chipped chairs,
bear fat overlaps,licks lips and feels twinge.

Cavalcades of sworn fashion limps,
hide labels,die of shame.
Hats full of hopefuls,
soon to prune the final nerve.
Twang!To be picked;to fill hollowness.

Video cam stories,butter runs from tickled crutch.
Pierced beauty,accessed by bi-metal strip.
Giving neon lights a quiver,stiffy delivery.
Licking salt out of juicy crisps.
Leaving soggy vinegar for leather clads.

The stench of fresh varnish,
causes toxic trances.
Nose settles by ink well.
"Click",strike another pose.
octopus defence causes black;splayed wide.

Silver nitrate escapes into crowd
Unregulated icons run abound.
Set to free ceased up channels
Smack the twaddle masters to their,
overchuffed cushion fluff.

Leaving we are ,to do the job!

Favourite this work Favourite This Author

Comments by other Members

Nell at 16:38 on 28 April 2004  Report this post
Patrick, you amaze! A multitude of images tumble over one another, all so cleverly composed with apparent ease, unrestrained by formal language. Incredible, wish I could loosen up like this and see what happens. I imagine you, eyes never leaving the screen, a notepad on your lap, the words flowing from the tip of the pen. Love the way the last line just wraps it up, yet manages to surprise. Great stuff, write on.


Lawrenco at 17:39 on 28 April 2004  Report this post
Thanks nell. It`s really strange .It came from a conversation concerning the casting couch.It has a anger attached from that subject.I suppose influences are Don van Vliet.Who`s alias was Capt. Beefheart from,60`s70`s Avant- gard.
He is now an Abstract Naturalist artist working in the Arizona desert,working out of a Mobile Home.A misunderstood genius.

The Walrus at 09:06 on 29 April 2004  Report this post
Can't pretend I understand your references, but the many vivid images reek of an environment, a pursuit that is both unnatural and unwholesome. A cynical but probably very accurate take powerfully portrayed.

A very striking piece Patrick.

The Walrus

Fearless at 11:21 on 29 April 2004  Report this post

This could have been entitled 'Scenes from a rehearsal', taking in pop-idol, reality tv (I must dig out 'I wanna be a male model' by the Undertones), and taking me past video diaries through to makeover shows. After reading this, I think I will kick-in my TV (or just stick with BBC 4).


miffle at 12:25 on 29 April 2004  Report this post
Patrick - yes, a startling piece - stickleback and edgey, pissed off too, eclectic, original, popping with images, a sense of being conjured and a flexible, flip-floppy brain - I like it!

'fried obese balls' 'Twang, to be picked' 'overchuffed cushion fluff' - some many phrases to collect and I am envious affectionately that you have used 'Twang' in a poem!

Seems a deliberately Ugly poem (and don't take that the wrong way) about Ugly People, Ugly Pursuits, Ugly slices of the world... And I'm guessing that you would not be a fan of G M Food or cloning sheep or humans ?! .... Full of playful disdain...

Enjoyed it, write on Nikki ;-)

Lawrenco at 00:12 on 30 April 2004  Report this post
Fearless, Please don`t Kick in your T.V just yet!
I suppose the poem can believe it or not can be explained!
It is a subversive piece as it attacks the heart of what is going that is rotten.
It comes from the Marxist(havent heard from him in a little while),that we are all explioted by a particular system.
This poem deals with the excessis of captalism.
The crassness that we all put up with but don`t really address.
Theres stuff like comfort eating,the earth heriters not being meek,and sexual paranoia and the inevitable dissapoinment of pornography;it being delivered like a pizza (all jazzed up but no substance).
"Octopus defence causes black;splayed wide."
This is a natural thing the octopus defending himself!!
But using the word Black in a positive way!!! The black ink using to write; "the pen is mightier than the sword ".
Black has usually negative conitations e.g Black Magic, Black mail, Black Wednesday..etc pointed by Mallcam x .
Yes,Red, it is unnatural and unwholsome perhaps I have been living in the smoke to long!!!
Miffle,Yes about the varnish being toxic symbolising our dangerous environment we live in.(also mixed with a sexual pervertions of the desk !)
Going to the ink well an alcholine rather than acid substance our instincts take us there.
The Silver Nitrate, what the use in movies to transmit the icons ,giving it back to the people to rule there own media.
Not the misguided heriters.

Thanks everyone for your comments and interest, I hope I havent taken you anywhere where you didn`t want to go !!!


I`m not suggesting by any stretch of the imagination that all media people are bad, but this is about the excesives.

Fearless at 11:12 on 30 April 2004  Report this post

Many thanks for the explanation. It reminds me of the work of Marshall McLuhan (his dictum 'The medium is the message'), as well as the Eastern European satirists, including Hacek, Pelevin, Yerofeev and Esterhazy, who characterised pornography as 'lies, lies of the soul' in his tract, 'A Little Hungarian Pronography'. As for who inherits the earth, check out Joseph Heller's 'God Knows' - nobody does!

Yes, black has negative connotations, although I have always found it restful, calming, positive. If darkness visits my door, I always think it's because he's lonely.

Perhaps it's all B.S. All that is left is what is within each of us, and what matters is sharing that with eachother...perhaps.

Thanks and write on,


gard at 12:34 on 30 April 2004  Report this post
Hi Lawrence

This is a real hard, tough, grinding description if the seemy side of the entertainment business and the shallow, self absorbed, self oriented people and the people they suck in too, that you write of. Its tough to intepret it all and the language is unloosed. I agree with Nell; it almost reads like a stream of thoughts ( as anger sometimes is?).

VERY GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I never knew that about Don van Vliet.Who`s alias was Capt. Beefheart from,60`s70`s. The Capt Beeheart ? I wonder what he gets up to in the Arizona Desert. I know that parts of the Arizona desert are stunningly beautiful; believe it or not full of birds and other wildlife even specialised wild hogs! Whilst other parts are barren desolate wastelands, hundreds of miles of dirt, dust and rocks only broken up by the poverty stricken Indian reservations which consist of shacks and mobile homes with one or two literally starving skeletal cattle that would have been taken by the RSPCA long ago if it were the UK. Yes I have been there! Sorry to go on then......uum...

Still your piece of work is needed, I mean where is the TV going in the future?


Lawrenco at 13:16 on 01 May 2004  Report this post
Fearless ; I must reply to your comment ,by saying this quote by
William Blake.-"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is infiinte."
It`s a kind of antipathy against the nuclear age !

Gina, Yes "The", Captain Beefheart and the Magic Band. F rank Zappa,named him on occasion they did collaborate.
Beefheart was more the Poetic and Avante gard one . I reccomend the album ,Back Chain Puller ,(shiny beast).He certainly doesn`t compromise and it doesn`t make it accesible to everyone,but I do feel it is worth braving your dollers for.
Other classics ,Ice Cream for Crow. Trout Mask Replica,Clear Spot .The Sunlight Kid.
I like the take on the Arizona desert, can you take me there in your words . Me on the soul of a white Eagle?

To post comments you need to become a member. If you are already a member, please log in .