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Broken spirit

by roovacrag 

Posted: 24 April 2004
Word Count: 48
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I gave you my breath
you took my air
gave you my heart
you didn't care.

Laid bare my soul
you made me soulless
held out my spirit
you crushed it.

What else can i offer
apart from my life
that is now dead
i offer no more.






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Comments by other Members



Rai15 at 22:54 on 24 April 2004  Report this post
I really like this, it is so very effective. I would comment more, but i am extremely tired at the moment. But, yes, I love it.

-Rai-
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The Walrus at 14:35 on 25 April 2004  Report this post
Devastating. To give so much for what?

As usual a piece that speaks clearly and passionately.

The Walrus
x
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roovacrag at 07:09 on 27 April 2004  Report this post
Thank you both for your comments.
xx ALICE
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Mooncat at 17:12 on 04 May 2004  Report this post
I liked this. A moving piece without the need for too many words.
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tinyclanger at 13:39 on 05 May 2004  Report this post
'Broken' is the word, Alice. A portrait of someone with nothing left..I do like the way the 'giver' gives totally, something very precious in each case, but then in the next line the 'taker' takes even more. We have the extreme, the ultimate, and then go beyond that extreme..
Very effective
x
tc
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