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The Woods

by Jubbly 

Posted: 21 April 2004
Word Count: 340
Summary: A shorty that will feature in my Edinburgh play, Morpheus Descending.

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The Woods

I went down there again, after all these years I went back to the woods. It took longer than I remembered; my feet hurt, and my high-heeled boots were far too impractical for such an enterprise.

What started off as a sunny day was now turning a dismal grey. As I strode further through the forest toward the glade, the blue sky seemed distant, bare branches, crooked and waving struck terrifying poses along the way.
I was suddenly Snow White running for my life, unknowingly toward the wicked queen. It was getting late and I knew I'd soon be missed just like I was all those years ago, no one believed me then, when I tried to tell them what had happened, what I'd seen.

"You're a liar!" they said, "Now tell us where you really were?"

Thirty years have passed and I was drawn back into the dark shadows, my very own personal quest.

I had something to prove, to myself if no one else.

My heart beat faster as I approached the clearing in the woods.

Suddenly everything was familiar, my breathing quickened, half of me wanted to see them again the other half quietly dreaded it.

As I got closer I recognised the big chestnut tree, bronzed conkers dangling like dull Christmas baubles and look there, engraved on the wizened bark, my initials, proof, proof that I was here.

Then I heard a noise, a slight rustling of leaves at first then that low murmur I remembered, I froze in fear and stood a deathly still. I could hear the laughter soft at first then louder, how many were there this time?

I saw them before they saw me. They had made a perfect circle just as I remembered.

Offerings were laid out before them, bread, cheese, wine, cakes, and oranges everything required for a sumptuous feats. I was right all along, I knew it, I hadn’t made it up.

It's true what they say -

Today’s the day the teddy bears have their picnic.

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Comments by other Members

Dee at 20:50 on 21 April 2004  Report this post
Mais oui! Mais oui! (sorry – just been watching Only Fools and Horses!)

What Can we lesser mortals say? Bloody good Julie. Bloody good!


Jubbly at 21:22 on 21 April 2004  Report this post
Thanks Dee, I was too jet lagged for Only Fools but after a few glasses of wine I'm up and about. And enough with the lesser mortals, no such thing.


scottwil at 07:28 on 22 April 2004  Report this post
Hi Julie, I admire the way you've managed to build so much drama only to undercut it with your punchline.
I've heard it said that this sudden release of carefully constructed tension is the essence of great comedy. At any rate it's great writing and I especially like the way you have dimensionalised this character by alluding to another, previous occasion and its aftermath.
If you can write this well about the Teddy Bear's picnic, no wonder you're an expert. Congrats for that and for this piece. No mean feat....

...which brings me to one small typo - 'a sumptuous feats'


roger at 09:13 on 22 April 2004  Report this post
Was, it a witch covern? Was it aliens? Maybe a gang of outlaws? Possibly a rapist, lured back to the scene of his crime to face retribution? A covern of witches...that's it, definately a covern of witches. Er? Eh? Bloody teady bears? LOL'd!!!!!

bjlangley at 10:56 on 22 April 2004  Report this post
Julie, I like the build up, as other comments suggest, it could be anything, and we want to know what, and when we get there, it's all the more funny.

All the best,


Account Closed at 16:44 on 22 April 2004  Report this post
So Teddy bears drink wine, do they?

Great shorty, Julie.


Ralph at 13:05 on 23 April 2004  Report this post
Hi Julie

Good to see you back.

I thought this was fantastic. Like Roger I was expecting something outrageous but not sure what and then... beautifully done. And absolutely hilarious. I could suddenly see them all sitting round the checked cloth...

Of course teddies drink wine... It's the obvious answer to explain the fixed grins on their faces, isn't it?

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. And really good to (finally) see that star behind you...

All the best with Morpheus Descending... and any chance of a few more snippets?



Becca at 19:58 on 23 April 2004  Report this post
Hi Julie, welcome back. This is the sweetest story,.. unless of course they are evil teddies? Could be, could be very evil. One typo found: 'I stood a deathly still.'

Nell at 20:27 on 23 April 2004  Report this post
Welcome back, Julie. Like roger I ran through the gamut of possibilities, but teddy bears never crossed my mind! Great punch line, write on!

haunted at 13:37 on 24 April 2004  Report this post
Welcome home, Julie. Even though i read a couple of the comments first so i knew the punch line, this was still fun to read.

I liked 'I was suddenly Snow White running for my life, unknowingly toward the wicked queen.' A great line to put the reader in the right frame of mind.


Account Closed at 12:27 on 28 April 2004  Report this post
Oh how I loved this! It could have gone on and on. What a brilliantly original idea for a story. I didn't see it coming, and I'm always thrilled by that. It fits with the song too...you're in for a big surprise!

I like the way a seemingly innocent nursery rhyme has been warped into something else quite sinister. I'd love to see this theme developed. Good luck at the Fringe.

James x


Whoops! That should be 'break a leg'!

Jubbly at 06:42 on 29 April 2004  Report this post
Thanks everyone from commenting on this, I remember when I first heard this song as a child I felt a mixture of delight and terror at the notion. So yes Becca, they could be evil I guess. I'm going to post another effort soon.

Cheers all



Anj at 20:14 on 01 May 2004  Report this post

Absolutely loved the punchline. Wonderful.

Couple of things - I stumbled over "far too impractical" - would "hardly practical" flow better?

"I was suddenly Snow White running for my life, unknowingly toward the wicked queen" This jarred a bit, as she wasn't running.

I felt the woods could have been evoked more terrifyingly.

But fab all the same.

Take care

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